Saturday, January 23, 2010

Things My Wife Complains About: #11 Failing to Predict or Identify Where She Wants or Needs to Be

My wife likes to do things sometimes. It's difficult to say when, as many times she prefers to do nothing, but when she does want to do something, I'm often given several seconds to determine what to do and where. The other night my wife texted that she was on Lexington and Third (two avenues that run parallel for approximately ten miles). She was hoping I would meet her, and after multiple counter-texts (sample text: where are you?), I called to determine what stretch of Manhattan she occupied. After a conversation in which I failed to guess her location (87th street) or where she wanted to go (unknowable), I was chastised for not knowing either of these things. When she returned, she decided that I didn't want to go anywhere, potentially on account of not loving her.

Two days earlier, I had been critiqued for neglecting to have memorized the weekday timetable of the Port Jefferson branch of the Long Island Railroad, a line I've taken nearly three times in my life. In my wife's defense, I was given almost an entire minute to direct her through Penn Station while she repeatedly bemoaned her inability to locate the Port Washington branch.

Possible Solutions!

1) Always stay no more than fifteen feet behind wife, even at the risk of surrendering my career or entering womens' bathrooms
2) Meet at the Pizza Hut on 50th and 7th, no matter what
3) Commit every bus, train, and plane schedule to memory, identifying fashionable spots at each stop (hard)

Post-Bar Exam Celebration 2008


eralon said...

You can totally do #3. You're smart and hardworking like that.

Ana Shute said...

She is sooooooo my child !!!!!

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