Two days earlier, I had been critiqued for neglecting to have memorized the weekday timetable of the Port Jefferson branch of the Long Island Railroad, a line I've taken nearly three times in my life. In my wife's defense, I was given almost an entire minute to direct her through Penn Station while she repeatedly bemoaned her inability to locate the Port Washington branch.
1) Always stay no more than fifteen feet behind wife, even at the risk of surrendering my career or entering womens' bathrooms
2) Meet at the Pizza Hut on 50th and 7th, no matter what
3) Commit every bus, train, and plane schedule to memory, identifying fashionable spots at each stop (hard)