Miranda Talking at 22 Months 2016

Unlike walking, talking doesn't have a "first day" which makes it tricky. When a baby says her first word you're never sure if she really means it or not. And then random words start coming and then disappearing, then two related words together... finally three... and then she's talking!

Puppeteer, February 10

 

Frog whisperer

At the beginning of January she was 20 months, Miranda said "no more jump-jump" while jumping on the bed to refer to the song No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. By the end of January we were having "one word conversations" where she would communicate a lot of answers and requests just using one word at a time. She also says "delicious!" when she eats something she likes. So adorable.

Drawing with her brother

By February she had gotten it together to actually say "No more monkeys." But over the last two weeks she's started talking for real. She uses three or more words at time, often making little sentences. She started making little word phrases: "See? A dinosaur! Roarrrr!"

Then and February 23 she reused and reorganized the Monkey song words she knew. When Kevin asked if she wanted a bath, she announced, "NO MORE BATHS" and ran away. And on her 22-month birthday, she started telling knock-knock jokes! Really bad ones, but still! I'm impressed.

M: Knock, knock.
E: Hi.
M: Mama, KNOCK KNOCK.
E; Oh, who's there?
M: Sheep.
E: Sheep who?
M: You! (Maybe she meant ewe? Haha. Unlikely. But maybe?)

Also, since she can now make requests, I know her favorite TV shows are Little Einsteins, Bob Zoom, Umi Zoomi, and Bubble Guppies, in that order.

Funny Yogurt Face

The only other thing going on with her, which is unrelated (or maybe not?) is that this month she stopped sleeping through the night. We started with gentle methods. Then we started to panic and tried to Ferberize her for a week. Since that was not working at all, I backed up entirely and started bringing her to the guest bed in her room. This is also not working well at all. I will implement Plan C when I return from Richmond.

Gets a blanket for naps and nighttime sleep now.

Things My Wife Complains About #20: Watching Television

My wife watches a lot of what I consider to be good television. She watches dramas like Mad Men and she watches comedies like Modern Family. She also has a seemingly insatiable appetite for terrible television, which three factors have conspired to bring out in horrifying fashion.

Factor #1: DVR. Because FIOS is cheaper than Time Warner, I felt justified in paying extra for DVR technology, which has emboldened my wife to record shows she would never risk the shame of watching in real time. Did you know, for instance, that there are several programs about families with at least ten children? That there are several programs about people with hoarding disorders? That my wife has watched, or is currently watching, all of these programs?

Factor #2: Netflix streaming. With the assistance of the Roku box, my wife is able to stream some of the worst programs, documentaries, and films ever created. Many of these shows nobody has ever heard of, including the people involved in the acting, production, and distribution (I leave out writing because these shows could not possibly have employed writers). It is not uncommon to find my wife on Episode 72 of a show that not a single person alive has seen.

Factor #3: James. At the age of ten months, James does exactly two things: (1) run into things and (2) cry about having run into things. If you put James in a rubber room with no furniture, he would run into the rubber wall, cry about having run into the rubber wall, and begin licking the rubber while also crying. While James does the two things he does, my wife often watches television.

Factor #3

What does my wife complain about? You're not going to believe this, but there are a few things. She complains about my skill operating the DVR. I fast forward too fast. That's an actual complaint. When I offer to let her operate the DVR, she complains that I won't do it for her.

She complains that I turn off the television when she's not watching it. The idea is that she might want to watch it again soon, and if she does, what is she supposed to do? Turn it back on??? My wife mistakes energy efficiency for not caring. We had a conversation about this.

She complains that Netflix doesn't offer closed captioning, an essential when James is crying on the floor, which again is half of the time. This is not a complaint against me, but my wife sees Netflix's lack of closed captioning as one of the singular injustices of the modern world.

Possible Solutions!

1) Unplug television

2) Never turn off television, practice DVRing, hire a stenographer to write transcript of Netflix dialogue

3) Teach James to do more than two things (hard)

James's pensive face