How About Those 2015 Resolutions?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 2016 here we come!! Please be kind!

On the one hand, some things on my resolutions list from last year remain undone. On the other hand, I've had a banner year in terms of getting things done! So let's start with all the positive (non-resolution) change.* This post is long, so I highlighted key stuff for you. Haha.

In March, Kevin got me this book for birthday because he knows I'm interested in organization books. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing* by Marie Kondo (Konmari) is no joke. I don't just have a more organized home, but it was LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC! It's real. Let me explain.

After I had started successfully decluttering my home so that I could bask in the things I love most, it occurred to me that this problem I had been unable to solve with willpower or other books-- I was able to solve with a better system. Maybe I just needed a better system for... everything!

So I asked for recommendations, specifically seeking something that was similar in style to Konmari: a book with a system to fix my problem, with some instant wins, that would keep me motivated, and was free to implement. I think that the "free" part is kind of key because it somehow prevents shysters from profiting (and therefore recidivism on your part).

So for finances I did The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey. I'm not going to get into my financial details online, but huge improvement! If you want to ask me in person, I'll tell.

At this point it occurred to me that what I really wanted was to lose weight. This one was tough. I was asking around everywhere. I tried reading a few bad diet books. Meanwhile articles were coming out that diets don't work. Ugh.

Finally I found this BBC documentary from 2012 about accidental diet research on mice and its effects on humans... as far as we know now. Basically the documentary talked about the scientific method of eating 500 calories every other day, and your regular current diet in between. There are a few different names for this method of eating: alternate day fasting, every other day diet, or 5:2 fast diet (if you only do it 2 days a week).

I read the three best books on the topic (Mosley, Varady, Johnson). The thing is, you don't need to read the books at all because I just explained the whole diet to you, but if you want to be convinced that it's healthy and scientific then read one of the books. I still think the best one is The FastDiet - Revised & Updated: Lose Weight, Stay Healthy, and Live Longer with the Simple Secret of Intermittent Fasting by Michael Mosley. I also like the Facebook group Alternate Day Fasting. (I would recommend actually reading and following KonMari or Dave Ramsey if you have problems in those areas, but the diet is really straightforward.)

I've done the 5:2 diet for 5 months, and lost 15 pounds so far. I lost the weight I gained when I was pregnant plus another 7 pounds. I'm the weight I was when I got married in 2009, and there's no signs that I'm stuck or that I've plateaued yet. So I'll report back when I do.

Lost the Miranda weight plus more, except 

that Miranda makes me carry her all the time.

I asked around again for life-changing systems, and this time I found bullet journal which is a very easy, simple, and fun way to make your own planner and keep track of your short-term and long term goals. No book this time, just this website: http://bulletjournal.com/. I also like the Facebook group Bullet Journal Junkies. You don't have to buy, borrow, or read anything.

I'm in the process of finding information on meditation and mindfulness. I'll report back this too. 

Also, we bought a house this year! So that was an awesome bucket list item for me. I'm super happy about our little house near the beach and near Kevin's job.

As for my actual 2015 Resolutions, below I highlighted which of my 2015 resolutions I actually accomplished. I'm doing a separate post on my 2016 resolutions but hopefully I can keep that list SHORT and manageable.

2015 Resolution "Musts":

• Spanish: Started to get serious about teaching the kids Spanish! 
• Complete our powers of attorney (was also on my 2014 resolutions)
• Living wills (was also on my 2014 resolutions)
• Healthcare powers of attorney (was also on my 2014 resolutions)
• What would I do for our kids? Letters?

My reading list:

• Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
• Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates 
• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon 
• Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munroe 
• Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler 
• The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky 
• (I also read 21 other books that weren't on this list including: Nobody is Ever Missing by Catherine Lacey)

Also fun reads (bonus):

• the third Magicians
• the rest of Game of Thrones 4-6 (read 4 and 5, stuck on the boringness of 6)
• Enders Game 

Charity: One donation a month. I might also encourage you to donate to the one I pick. (I gave this year but not to 12 places, or each month.)

Things I still needed to do from my 2014 Resolutions:

• Back-up my entire computer.
• Learn to bake!
• Lost the baby weight I gained with Miranda! And not a resolution - but also James weight! (Thanks 5:2!)
• Culled my dad's books (thanks Konmari!)
• Finish James's baby book
• Baptize the kids.
• Learn Italian this year.

* I used three associate links above, because why the heck not, but these are all books I used to great effect. All of you who know me in real life know that I won't shut up about these books. My "cults." Also, you don't need to buy any of these books because they're probably in your local library.

KonMari Progress- Forward and Back 2015

I blogged a whole bunch of times about KonMari in the previous months. My motivation kind of took a nose dive when we moved in the middle of my process (at about 4 and half months). For a month I had to focus on packing and unpacking instead of Konmaring. But moving was itself interesting in the middle of the process. When confronted with having to move the object to a new house there was a point in favor of discarding the item rather than the usual default of wanting to keep it. I also handled everything we own twice because I packed and unpacked almost everything.

Unpacked new smaller house- Love all the free space with less stuff!

But then, I thought I was in sentimental items, and when we got to the new place I realized I had totally blown the Komono step. This is what Marie Kondo calls the step where you do all the "miscellaneous" items that just aren't clothing, books, papers, or sentimental items. Well, that's the biggest category and I really didn't push myself very hard on it. So a lot of my unpacking time was been trying to deal with all these items that don't necessarily fit into my life now. For example all of our CDs... really torn about whether to keep them when I rarely play music off them. I don't know why I had less trouble discarding clothing and books which I care a lot more about, than I'm having getting rid of CDs, but there it is. Also, the solution to convert our VHS home movies into DVDs will take time and money, etc. So I'm back to dealing with all that.

Some additional things have found their way into the house in the meanwhile, though we try to control that, but the new house had some new needs. Then once I lost the momentum of having a regular time to work on it each week, it's been hard to get back in.

Also, when I saw the huge positive effect Konmari was having in my life and in my way of thinking, I decide to find and apply similar processes to other problems in my life. So I discovered Dave Ramsey, and it's totally changed how I view and handle finances in my life-- for the better. Much better!

Next I decided that the weight I was dragging around wasn't sparking joy (duh) and there had to be a more motivational way of getting rid of it. So I discovered Alternate Day Fasting, which is supposed to make it easier to lose weight, and more importantly, reduce your chance of getting cancer or weight-related illnesses like diabbetes. The diet costs nothing (actually saves you money) and I've lost 17 pounds since the end of June. (I started on 5:2, but now I do 4:3 or 5:2 depending on how well the week is going.) But my focus on these new projects distracted me from Konmari. It's difficult right now to keep myself from moving on to even more projects before having finished this one.

This is a chart of my weight (and averages) since November 2008, and the correlation with some big projects I took on. Almost back to a healthy weight now. (First time since 2007 which isn't even on this chart.)

Seven-Year Weight Chart (11/2008-10/2015)

So now it's been a bit over 7 months since I started, and I still plan on finishing my Konmari "festival" by the end of this year. It will be amazing to know I am surrounded by what I love. But no matter what, Konmari has already changed my life a lot (just like Marie promised) and changed how I approach and surpass challenges.

I found this video by a blogger I already knew and like, Laura of HowToGYST.com, and yes, totally agree with almost everything she says, except the less shopping is a huge plus for me, not a con.

 

• KonMari- Clothes 2015 
• KonMari- General Solution 2015
• All my other KonMari posts

"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" Marie Kondo- Talks at Google

I just love this. Marie Kondo highlights some of her techniques, and answers the questions everyone asks all the time.

My favorite quotes:

"My method is completely based on if you get inspired by the object. It depends on the person... how much stuff you want to keep around you."

"My clients never go back to the mess, because they've been transformed into the organized person."

"It's not about tidying up, it's about how you want to spend the rest of your life."

"I know every one of us has so many items in our life. But examining the items in our life is examining how we want to live right now."

• Start with KonMari- Clothes
• KonMari- General Solution
• All my other KonMari posts

Baby Advice: Baby Registry

Whenever one of my friends gets pregnant they ask what the best stuff to get. If you're a minimalist or do not want to spend a lot of money, these are the things I consider basic and necessary.

Necessary:
Diapers: I don't care if you use cloth or disposable, but your kid will poop on you if you don't buy something.

Onesies: You might want to just get a bunch of white ones. Especially if you have a girl, pink onesies never match pink pants. It's an industry thing meant to drive new moms nuts. But if your onesies are all white you've beat the system.

Pants and sweaters: For the cold. Be colorful; white baby pants are silly.

Crib: So the baby has somewhere to sleep. They outgrow the co-sleepers and bassinets, so if you want to save money go straight for a crib. If you get one that's convertible into a toddler bed you can use it for years and years!

Warm pajamas and/or Baby sleep-sack: for winter sleeping. Because babies can't use blankets.

Ergo carrier/stroller- one or both. Our kids kind of hate carriers. Some people only use carriers. If you buy a stroller consider whether you will have to personally lug it around. The big tank ones are for SUV moms (they carry all your stuff!). City moms like lighter and more versatile ones.

Fire and smoke detectors.

Car seat if you have a car. And check that it's installed properly.

Not strictly necessary but very helpful:
Wipes: Actually this is necessary. You could use wet paper or washcloths but what a pain. Just buy wipes.

Diaper bag: I could have listed this under necessary also, but I guess theoretically you could throw a bunch of stuff in your large purse. For lots of reasons it's better to get an actual diaper bag. I got a manly looking one so I could make Kevin carry it.

A book about baby sleep:  This one: http://amzn.to/1BiGqlo (or Dr. Ferber) It doesn't actually matter what sleep book, but when you're exhausted, some sort of guidance will save your soul.

Sound machine: We like these so much we bought two, one for our room. http://amzn.to/146wyym

Highchair: Somewhere for the baby to eat once he or she can sit up. We like ours because it's small to store and travels well http://amzn.to/1xEGRaz

Bibs: Babies drool and spit up and if you want to avoid changing them every few hours, bibs will save you. Relatedly, burp clothes for the first 6 months or so. You can use anything but it whatever it is will get wrecked.

Here are some I don't like. There is a thing called a burpy bib - it's a burp cloth and bib in one. I prefer mine to be separate but to each their own. These bibs seem like a good idea, but they are not- they bump into everythinge: http://amzn.to/1wNuEcs.

Bath soap for babies.

Diaper rash cream: One of my kids never had diaper rash though and the other one only a little, so one tube should suffice until you know how sensitive your baby is.

Baby nail trimmer.

Thermometer (you might want a seperate one for baby)

Good to have:
Baby bathtub: You can give them baths in the sink until they're able to sit up but this might be super inconvenient.

Baby bath towel. The little hood thing is kind of helpful. Plus their cuteness helps you tell the difference between their towel and yours.

Changing table: A lot of people change their babies on the floor but I like being able to stand at a comfortable height and having all the stuff in one place is convenient and more hygenic.

Swaddling blankets: But! I found the generic ones kind of useless because they were too small. I enjoyed the extra big Aden + Anais muslin swaddle blanket. They're a fun luxury but really only useful for the first few months.

Big plastic tubs: So if you get a lot of stuff you'll want to store stuff that the baby isn't ready for so it's not in your way. (Also, if you plan on having another baby, you'll want to store the stuff that baby this baby outgrew.

Breastpump: They're covered by insurance. This might rise to the level of necessity depending on your situation.

Baby bottles: If you're not going to nurse or going to pump.

Formula: If you're not going to nurse. Be warned, it's expensive and once you get involved with formula you might be committed until the baby is 1 year old.

Toys:
Baby don't really like anything for a while. Some newborns appreciate a pacifier but the controversy here is out of control.

Once they can grab stuff the only thing they want is to chew on stuff. Sophie the Giraffe is good. A rattle can be chewed on or is entertaining.

Eventually they can bat at stuff and will enjoy an overpriced baby mat/ baby play gym. (Anyone want mine?)

I also recommend bath books, not for use in the bath, but because they can chew on them and not ruin them.

They don't usually like real toys until about 6 months when they can sit.

Moms, what else did you think was necessary?

• See also: Pregnancy Advice: After You Get Pregnant
• KonMari- Kids' Clothes
• KonMari- Kids' Toys

Our 5th Wedding Anniversary 2014

Even though our 5th anniversary was the least eventful- we just stayed in Long Island, took the kids to the park, and ordered some Indian food - it was also the best. That's because I'm psyched about being a family of four. I've never been in a family of four, and I love it.

The 4 Clous on our 5th Wedding Anniversary

Five years is always a good time to check the status of things. If someone had asked us what our 5-year plan was when we got married, happy and "2 kids" would have top of my list. Granted I would have also had "student debt paid off," "house purchase," and "wedding weight" on my list but it's no fun if I have nothing left for my 10-year goals right? The state of this union is strong!

The kids are awesome.

At the park

James drew our family! L-R: James, Me, Miranda, and Kevin

When we went to Sunny and Trey's wedding three months after we were first married, Sunny and Trey asked us to give "newlywed" advice. Being so new to the institution of marriage we gave advice about relishing the feeling of being a newlywed. Our attempts to stay in this mindset must have been somewhat effective because my friend Rachel remarked almost a year later that she couldn't believe we were still in the "honeymoon phase."

Picture of us at Trey and Sunny's wedding, September 2009

By the time our friends Lukas and Sarah were getting married a year after us, I warned Sarah that the first year might involve a "testing" of the new limits of the relationship- sticking your toe just over the line to see what you can get away with now that the other person is stuck with you! Of course, shortly thereafter you remember that you don't want to push the other person's limits because you love the person and want them to be happy. That was in June of 2010 and that was before we had kids and before losing my dad.

Brooklyn, June 2010

Here are my thoughts on marriage after another 4 years: the most important part of marriage is picking someone good in the first place. Obviously I love Kevin, but life is really hard, harder than you think it will be when you're young, and so sometimes I think that it's even more important that I like him. If you respect and even admire the person your spouse is, it's easy to keep loving them and to love them even more as the years go by. If you don't exactly respect them, then it's easy to forget to love them over time.

 

Street fair in our town, June 2011

Here is the three-part test I would apply for marriage: 1) Do you love them? (Duh.) 2) Would you go into business with this person? (If not, why not? Yeah, that's going to be a problem in marriage too.) 3) If you want kids, do you want your kids to be exactly like this person? Because you actually don't have any control over that, and your kids will carry your heart around forever. That's basically it.

Martha's Vineyard, June 2012

Of course, Kevin did and would pass my test, but not just pass it, he exceeds it. I think he's awesome. He can do pretty much anything he sets out to do, he's hilarious, loyal, and great at all the relationships in his life: husband, father, son, brother, and friend. He's smart. He's soulful. He's cooperative but challenging in the right proportions. I will never win the lottery (mostly because I don't play the lottery) but I hit the spouse jackpot.

Vegas Baby! June 2013

I know a lot of people say they love their spouse more than the day that got married, but here is some evidence that I do. Kevin didn't just sit with me when my dad was sick, he did everything he could possibly do to help. He talked to doctors, he weighed options when the rest of us were panicked, he helped my mom even on days I couldn't make it to the hospital. I've talked about this before, but especially now that we have kids, it's a comfort to know that I have someone I can rely on to be a good parent, give good advice, and stand up when things get really hard, like when they're sick.

These days instead of trying to toe the line I try to stay far away from the line. Like in another room if I can. But sometimes I get tired/hungry/uncaffeinated and find myself in the general area. Hopefully, I'll get better at that in the next 5 years. In the meantime you can enjoy Kevin's posts about my ridiculous complaints. When they stop, you'll know I've mastered that. Anyway, 5 years! Woo!!

Hospital Bag 2014

After my dehydration/contractions/hospital run last Saturday, I realized it was definitely time to pack the hospital bag.

Baby girl stuff thanks to family, Regan, and Cathy

For Baby:
Going home outfit, back up, socks
Hat to go home (and one for the hospital)
Pacifiers
Scratch mittens and Baby Nail clipper
The best receiving blankets
Coat/ warm blanket
Car seat

All packed!- Mostly

Paperwork:
Hospital forms- at hospital already
ID/insurance (purse)
Hospital information (from tour?)
Something to bring home baby information

Personal clothes:
Going home outfit
Robe
Socks, Slippers?, Flip-flops
Glasses (purse)
Snacks- granola, vanilla soy milk (doesn't need refrigeration), candy

Nursing stuff:
Nursing pillow, Cover
Nursing shirt/dress, Nightgown?, Intimates
Cream

Toiletries:
Soap, Shampoo/Conditioner, Tooth brush/tooth paste/ floss,
Lotion, razor, deodorant
Chapstick, makeup, tweezers, nail file
Hair things
Bag to bring stuff home

Electronics:
Camera, card, and charger (lens?)
Phone and charger

Sleep aids:
Tums
Ear plugs (for Kevin)

Visitors:
Hand sanitizer

Gifts:
Big Brother gift for James (We got him a Thomas train that works with his cheaper train set)
Gift for nurses (food- not yet packed)

Pregnancy Advice: Maternity Clothing

Maternity clothing is kind of a racket. My advice is aimed at making your shopping more cost-effective and comfy.

First trimester- Non-maternity tops and maternity pants
Skip the belly band. You're going to have to give up and buy some maternity pants eventually and they are so much comfier. First trimester you want to wear loose fitting clothes, but not maternity tops or dresses mostly because you don't want people guessing your secret. If your clothing isn't sufficiently loose, it's a better investment to buy loose non-maternity clothing (either drapey or a size bigger than you normally wear) because you will want to wear this clothing again at some point after you have the baby. For pajamas, I have found nothing beats the maternity leggings that go under the belly.

Second trimester- All maternity clothing
Go ahead and buys some cute maternity tops and dresses. I recommend short-sleeve shirts and dresses. You might choose to avoid sleeveless things because your arms might get really not-cute. Skip long sleeve if you plan on having a second child one day because you might be pregnant in a different season. Buy non-maternity sweaters instead (better investment). Long or "boyfriend-style" sweaters will last you into the 3rd trimester.

Note that maternity shirts and dresses with the cute ruching on the side can only be worn when you're pregnant. The shirts without it can be recycled when you're not pregnant.

If most of your pregnancy is during winter in a cold climate you will need a coat- either maternity or a big tenty swing coat (I have the latter). Don't go cold- prioritize the coat. (I kept trying to squeeze into my regular coat during my first pregnancy, so much happier this time with one that fits!)

Third trimester
Oh boy, good luck. One hack I discovered is that if you get really big for maternity shirts, a plain-looking night shirt will look just like a regular t-shirt.

After the baby is born
You will likely be wearing your second trimester maternity clothing and your loose-fitting non-maternity clothing for a while. You'll probably be sick of maternity pants, so celebrate when you can fit into your fat pants again.

My last pregnancy advice posts were about what I suggest you do before you get pregnant, and when you first find out that you're pregnant.

Pregnancy Advice: After You Get Pregnant

My last pregnancy advice post was about what I suggest you do before you get pregnant. So it follows that I should discuss what I advise you do when you discover that you're pregnant.

1) Keep taking prenatal vitamins, or start immediately. The folic acid in prenatal vitamins helps prevent neural tube defects in the first trimester.

2) Make an appointment with your OB. (If you don't have one research a good one.) Most OB's won't see you until about 8 weeks because they honestly can't tell you much before then. Record the date of your LMP so they can determine your due date.

3) I don't think you should tell everyone that you're pregnant immediately. Obviously it's your personal choice to make and you can tell anyone you want, especially if you're close to that person. But be aware, approximately a fourth of pregnancies do not work out and you probably don't want to explain to everyone if yours is one of those. Even if you are blessed with a healthy pregnancy, a lot of people will feel really uncomfortable with your early announcement, either because they are worried for you or because they experienced a miscarriage themselves.

4) Don't immediately run out and buy a ton of stuff. Largely for the same reason as above, but also, towards the end of your pregnancy some loved one may want to shower you with gifts.

5) Related to the above, ask a friend who has a young child for help making a baby registry. (I might do a post on what baby stuff to get if I don't run out of time.)

6) Sign up for babycenter.com or thebump.com. Skip "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the like. If you want to buy a "pregnancy book" I recommend "Your Baby's First Year" by American Academy of Pediatrics. Unlike the authors of some other books, these people are doctors. There's a solidly long pregnancy section in the front, followed by an infinitely more useful section on what to do when the baby is actually here. It's like two books in one.

7) Please take belly pictures. I know a lot of moms who didn't because they were unhappy with how they looked at the time, but you might not always feel this way in retrospect. So if you don't like how you look right now, take the pictures and put them somewhere safe without sharing them. Later in your life if you still hate them you can burn or delete them. But most likely you will like the photos later- or your child will.

8) Don't get too attached to your "birth plan." It may not happen that way at all.

9) Don't eat too much junk food, especially if it has preservatives. The baby does not "need" that, and you'll find most of the weight you gain in the first and second trimester goes to your bum and not to the baby. That's weight you'll still have on your bum after you have the baby.

10) Prioritize sleep as much as you can. (This is hard, especially if you already have another child.)

11) Be easy on yourself. You just can't do everything you used to do. (This is very hard.)

12) Morning sickness can sometimes be avoided by not letting yourself get too hungry or stressed. Other times it can't be avoided at all.

13) Tums can be really helpful for acid reflux, but beware they can cause iron deficiency. (Learned this the hard way.) Iron deficiency can be really serious because you may lose a lot of blood when you have the baby, and really low iron could result in difficulty breathing and might even result in you losing consciousness.

14) Research any medication (prescription or over-the-counter) people suggest. You should understand the benefits and risks before you take anything (including prescription prenatal vitamins that often contain "extras"). Here's a link I found explains the issue really well: http://blogs.plos.org/publichealth/2014/03/03/tylenol-safe-pregnancy-trick-question/

15) Now might be a good time to write a will, determine who will care for your child if something happens to you and your spouse, and even write an advance health care directive.  I'm impressed if you're motivated though, it took us almost 3 years after James was born to do our will.

That's all I can think of, but comment if you have any questions and I'll try to offer what I can.

Pregnancy Advice: Before Getting Pregnant

Since this is my second time, I feel like I have a lot of insight that I can share with women who haven't been pregnant before. I hope to do a few posts on pregnancy advice before Itty Bitty is here and takes all my attention. Obviously, none of this is medical advice because I am not a doctor. And equally obvious, I support your choice to do whatever you want. These are just suggestions.

Let's work our way chronologically through a pregnancy. Here are a few things I suggest doing before you start trying to get pregnant because you will have a lot of strange limitations after you get pregnant.

1) Enjoy one last party or trip where drinking is relevant to the celebration. I waited out Great-grandma Ruth's 90th birthday (Kevin's family can party), Brooke's wedding, and our trip to visit cousin Katie before giving up the party lifestyle. Not-so coincidentally, all those ladies are Irish.

Take a little time to recover from the partying. But don't wait forever! Draw the line somewhere reasonable.

2) Eat some of the following if you love it: soft cheeses, sushi, cold deli sandwiches, or maybe a medium rare hamburger, mmm. Then start getting in the habit of eating more fruits and vegetables and foods with fiber generally.

3) Get a regular and complete check-up. Don't just visit your OB, but go to a regular doctor and have him or her take your blood and check everything they can possibly check. I even got an EKG when I visited my doctor in February. Ask for the results of your blood test to be sent to you. Doctors like to act like they're the only ones that can read a blood test, but the lab spells out the normal range for everything they test right on the results. If anything is not in the normal range, call your doctor, Google it, do whatever you need to find out what's up. I am not a doctor, just someone who's been through a lot of nonsense. Your blood test is the canary in the cave- take it very seriously! Do this not just before getting pregnant, but every year.

Talk to your doctor about whether you should get off any medications while you're pregnant and how to do so. A lot of drugs are considered safe for pregnant women, but even many of these have not really been studied. Personally, I avoid all medicine during pregnancy because I don't suffer from any underlying illnesses and I don't want to risk the baby's health. But again, I don't have any illnesses-- some illnesses a mother has may actually be worse for a mother and her baby than the treatment. That's what your doctor is there to help you figure out. Do a little research on your own too, but check with the doctor before making any big changes.

4) Visit your OB sometime in the year before. Tell him or her you're going to start trying to get pregnant. They might have some words of wisdom, or not.

5) Start taking a prenatal vitamin at least 3 months before you start trying. There are a lot of choices. The big ones can be hard to swallow and might discourage regular consumption. Unfortunately, a lot of the natural ones are pretty big. Try to avoid ones that have crazy additives though. (My doctor gave me a sample that had really bad stuff in it- be careful and read the packaging.) Some women prefer vitamins without iron in it. It should specifically be a prenatal vitamin with folic acid and DHA though. This time I'm enjoying sweet chewable ones.

6) If you don't already exercise, start! It's not ideal to start a difficult exercise program while pregnant, and if you don't exercise while you're pregnant the experience is going to be much more painful for you. Your body will betray you in ways you can't even imagine, and being able to exercise will alleviate a lot of that suffering. I'm not a big exercise person myself, but I try to go for a long walk 3-4 days a week. Last time I didn't exercise much and it wasn't pretty.

7) Go to the dentist way before you plan on trying to get pregnant. Your teeth might be perfect, or you might have a bunch of stuff to deal with beforehand. It is difficult or impossible to deal with some dental issues while you're pregnant. Infections in your mouth can be bad for the baby, and anyway, you don't want to spend 9 months with pain in your head.

8) Start sleeping more. People will tell you to sleep while you're pregnant, but they're jerks. It gets harder and harder to sleep during pregnancy, so now is your big chance to store some sleep.

9) Don't buy pregnancy books. They are not helpful. You can find most of what those books provide on babycenter.com or thebump.com. Once you get pregnant, go ahead and buy books about baby's first year if you so choose: I recommend Baby's First Year because it was written by The American Academy of Pediatrics, and even though it has a section on pregnancy it deals with the infinitely more important details of what to do once you actually have a baby to care for.

Pregnancy Advice: Prenatal Vitamins

My grade school friend told me yesterday that she's pregnant too, just a little behind me, and has been reading my blog for an idea of what to expect. I was so happy to hear that someone likes the blog! Then it made me think that even though I have a bunch of friends who are moms, I have even more that are not quite there yet.  So in the interest of being helpful, maybe I could share some newly acquired knowledge.

The very first thing to deal with when you're going to get pregnant is buying prenatal vitamins. You should be taking these before (some say as early as three months before), during, and after pregnancy.  My first bottle was the generic CVS prenatal vitamain because I was at CVS and it was the cheapest one. I bought these instead of using the prescription for the super vitamins my previous doctor had written me. Apparently they were really pricey and maybe insurance would pay. Um, no thanks. But the CVS ones left a bit to be desired. They were a little big for swallowing and colored pink. Why do I need red #40 and yellow #6 and a bunch of preservatives in my vitamins? I'm trying to eat organic food without preservatives during the pregnancy, so why should the vitamins be my downfall?

So here are the best 3 brands I found, for all different reasons. Vitasmart is available at KMart (I know shopping there is liberal crime but there's one in Penn Station and I ran out of vitamins), it's cheap and it's very thin and easy to swallow. It suffers from being colored pink, but for someone who has trouble swallowing pills, it's a good choice.

Trader Joe's is my official recommendation, if you're lucky enough to live near a Trader Joe's. It's reasonably priced, has no food coloring, and keeps random chemicals to a minimum. That greenish color is the actual color of the stuff in it, so it sort of looks like food. It's main drawback is that it's regular prenatal vitamin size which is a little tough to swallow.

Finally, I tried Prenate Essential because I got free samples at my doctors office. Given that it's big and colored blue it wouldn't even be worth discussing, except it's deliciously flavored like vanilla, and it contains a dose of fish oil which will make your baby smarter. Of course you can just take a separate fish oil pill with the other prenatal vitamins, but I'm too lazy to do that most of the time. I just hope I eat enough actual fish that I make up for it that way.  I have no idea how much this vitamin costs, but my guess is that if they're giving samples to the doctor, it's pricey. But I do love it.

On top of the prenatal vitamin my doctor told me to take fish oil everyday, and a calcium pill every day.  This is quite the vitamin cocktail, and most days it doesn't happen. At this point though, I drink so much milk and consume so many Tums that I'm definitely not worried about the calcium. Maybe I'll try a little harder to take everything for this last leg of the pregnancy.

Any moms have a different favorite?

Update: For my second pregnancy I only took the yummy gummy vitamins that Anna recommended. Yum!

Newlywed Advice 2009

In 2009,* three months after we were married, Sunny and Trey asked us to give "newlywed advice" at their wedding as part of the tradition of seven blessings in the Jewish ceremony. I was thinking it would be fun to update our wedding advice every five years or so, as we grow in our marriage, and to revisit what we thought in the past.

Here's what we said at Sunny and Trey's wedding:

Kevin: Nobody will ever look at with you with as much love, admiration, and happiness as your wife on your wedding day. So look at her a lot.

Ericka: When you go to Bali, tell everyone you are on your honeymoon. It's the only time you'll ever get to do it, and it makes people instantly understand how in love you are and they treat you well. It's also a good time to practice being really nice to each other for the rest of your life.

Kevin: Indulge the temptation to play with your ring: it's cold when you leave your hand out the car window; it clicks when you pick up a drink. People look at you and know you did something right.

Ericka: Get used to saying "my husband this" and "my husband that," even when it's better to just say his name. It's a fun and strange transition. You feel adult and loved.

Kevin: Trey is one of the smartest, most ambitious, most kind-hearted men I've ever met, and Sunny is clearly his match. They deserve a lot of happiness, and we feel blessed to support them on this day.

I think the main themes were to appreciate each other and to shamelessly celebrate your love. That seems to be very "newlywed" indeed.

Seeing each other for the first time on our wedding day

*Full disclosure: This post was retroactively posted in 2014, but the advice was what we wrote down in 2009.