Baby Miranda Born 2014

When I got to the hospital I thought I'd get a sonogram, a doctor to help me decide whether the baby was too big to VBAC or not, and AN EPIDURAL. But I got a nurse and a resident, who told me that I wasn't dilating, so I couldn't get an epidural unless I was in active labor (which means dilating). That didn't make a lot of sense to me, since actually it was a lie.  The resident also said I couldn't get a c-section unless I was in active labor which is definitely not true because I had a scheduled c-section for Thursday which is done when you're not in labor at all.

 

In Labor Triage, between 4-minute contractions with no epidural!

Kevin is excited to spend the night in a broken rocking chair

Another resident gave me a sonogram and told me the baby was 7 pounds plus. I laughed because that was almost definitely not true. I told her my firstborn was 9 pounds and 12 ounces so the estimate was surprising to say the least. She called in the doctor on call to check and she estimated 9 pounds. I nodded and said that sounded more accurate. When it finally dawned on them that my contractions were getting closer together and they weren't going to be able to send me home even if I weren't in "active labor" I was finally put in a Labor & Delivery room.

In Labor & Delivery, when my contractions were 2 minutes apart, I finally got an epidural! I was pleased that Kevin could be in the room for that part because with a scheduled c-section my hospital doesn't let your partner in for the epidural, and with James, my epidural took a horrible 75-minutes. This time it was fast and not terribly unpleasant. After that I lost track of my contractions for a while. They told me that since I still wasn't dilating my doctor would come in for my c-section between 6-8 a.m.

But suddenly 4 nurses ran into my room in a panic, put me on oxygen and explained that I'd had 3 contractions in a row and the baby was in distress. The baby was fine now, but they'd call my doctor and have the c-section as soon as possible.

In Labor & Delivery where contractions went from 2 mins to 0 minutes apart--

After they prepared me for the c-section

Suited up for the emergency c-section!

At this point I was not sad not to have a successful VBAC. I was mentally singing the praises of scheduled c-sections at 39 weeks for huge babies. It was that moment when everything you thought you knew turned out to be mostly wrong. I have those a lot. (I'm starting to think that if you don't, you're probably just stubbornly sticking to a lot of wrong stuff.)

Relieved to have the baby come out!

Second c-sections take longer than the first (now they tell me!) and I was definitely concerned about whether or not things were going well on the other side of the curtain so (TMI alert- you can skip the rest of this paragraph if you get queasy) I looked. I saw my reflection in the overhead lights and I watched my own c-section. The mirrors in the lights were sectioned so I couldn't see things as one picture but I could see my baby's head or the doctors or what not depending on where I looked. I'm glad I saw my child born.

They got her out and I asked to touch her first- since Kevin got to hold James first. So they wrapped her up and let me kiss her. This is my favorite picture from the day.

LOVE!

We did it! She's here!

• Compare to James's birth story, exactly 3 years ago in 2011

Mom's Kidney Surgery 2013

Mom's surgery yesterday went well. the doctors got her whole kidney and the tumor without rupturing the tumor. She had no complications. Now we just have to wait for lab results to see if she's "cancer-free" or if she'll need to take medication.

Mom, post-surgery

It was really sad being back at Valley Hospital where we lost my dad. I kept remembering things from back then. One thing I kept thinking about was how he was so tall his feet hung off the stretchers they use to transport people. I was constantly worried they were going to hit his legs and the tumor in his leg would hurt him. I was constantly warning the orderlies and blocking like a crazy person. I also kept thinking about the milk shakes we got him from the Cafe downstairs.

When they moved my mom to her room after she got out of recovery, the day nurse she was assigned recognized both of us right away. We spent so much time at Valley Hospital with my dad, and on so many floors (oncology, neurology, intensive care, urology, dialysis, ER) that even though it was three years ago, my mother's nurse recognized both of us. "I recognize you," she said to me, "where do I know you from?" Then turning to my mom, "I recognize you too."

You recognize us from here, from oncology, from dialysis; you recognize us because we were here with my dad.

My mom added, "I have the same thing as him."
"The same thing?"

It's a strange, hard life we're living.

Baby James Born 2011!

The worst part of my c-section was the epidural. An epidural port is inserted to help with the pain both during the surgery and for two days after.  First they made me sit hunched over and a nurse held my shoulders so I  didn't fall off the table when I arched my back for the shot. But for some reason she applied an inordinate amount of pressure to my shoulders. Then they gave me a numbing injection, or three, which the anesthesiologist said "might burn" and definitely did. For a normal woman, the numbing shot is the worst part. No one has ever accused me of being a normal woman. The anesthesiologist asked that I tell him what I feel when he did the epidural. The needle itself I hardly felt, thanks to the numbing shots, but I felt shooting pain emanating from the site of the needle out to my right side.

"Really? On your right? Hmh. Let's try again."

The anesthesiologist assistant swapped with the nurse at my shoulders, followed by the resident. I begged her to take pressure off my shoulders in between the injections even though she was the lightest one by far.  My shoulders were bruised.

More numbing shots followed, and then more epidural shots. At one point, he took a break to insert the spinal.

"THAT FEELS LIKE ELECTRICITY SHOOTING THROUGH THE ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BODY."

"Oh, that's normal." So he did that twice. I grabbed the resident's scrub pants with my thumb and forefinger. I must have thought we were buddies.

Then he resumed poking me with the epidural.  The anesthesiologist mentioned that I might have to do the surgery without an epidural, just the spinal, and that I could take other pain medication after the surgery. Finally he called in another anesthesiologist who put the epidural right in where it was supposed to go.

An hour and fifteen minutes had passed. I wondered whether Kevin was close enough that he could hear me yelp when they shocked me over and over and whether he was scared about what was going on. He told me later that he could hear me but someone from the room would periodically update him.

Right after the doctor made the first incision, they let Kevin into the room. I didn't feel anything so I spent the time thinking about how silly Kevin looked in his scrub hat, and hoping the baby had a big healthy scream when he came out.  I heard him before I saw him.  He gave a medium-loud complaint cry.  When I saw him my first words were "He's awesome!"

My first view of James

Making footprints

Proving he has big healthy lungs

I was amazed by how large his feet were. Those huge feet had been kicking me for weeks! They asked us about his name, and we announced for the first time that his name was James. They wrapped him up in a tight receiving blanket burrito and gave him to Kevin. His mouth was covered by the blanket. I tried to uncover it while they finished my surgery so I could see what he looked like. I couldn't quite figure him out. They asked Kevin to wait with him in the hall while they finished my stitches and staples. Kevin told me that in the hall he had a private talk with James where he promised to always be a good father to him. (How crazy sweet is that?) The doctors finally put him in my arms for the first time when they wheeled me out of the operating room.

My first time holding him

They took him after a moment or two to examine him in the nursery for 4 hours! I was going crazy! They sent me to the recovery room for 2 hours, where Kevin and my mother joined me, and eventually Kevin's mother too. We called James's uncles and great-grandparents. Then I encouraged the mothers to go visit James in the nursery, which I knew they were eager to do. They reported back that James was the largest baby in the nursery and that he was complaining about how hungry he was with a light cry and sucking on his fists. We were all smitten.

Dad's Kidney-Bladder Stint Surgery 2010

The urologist thought that a stint between his kidney and bladder might fix his problem. He had surgery early this morning. The surgery appears to have been successful. Mom is ecstatic. Dad seems to be in high spirits as well, making jokes and looking forward to returning to his non-intensive physical rehab.

Happy 10-10-10!

Dad's Brain Surgery 2010

Dad is scheduled for a "left frontal temporal awake craniotomy" at 7:40 a.m. tomorrow. I will update when he gets out.

Update: Surgery went well though it seems it was extremely unpleasant for dad.  He's in ICU for now being observed.

Dad's Embolization 2010

Dad is back in the hospital with metastasis in his leg and arm. Apparently they only scanned his torso and head before instead of a full-body scan. What? If any of your family members go through this, know that you are responsible for their care. You cannot just trust what the doctors and nurses are doing.

Update: One of the leg tumors was embolized providing pain relief and lessening the danger of rupture. Other tumors will be treated with the same kidney cancer drug (Sutent) as the other tumors that we already knew about.

Dad's Brain Radiosurgery 2010

Kevin and I are at my parents, helping out a little and having dinner. It has been almost three weeks since we found out about dad's cancer and a lot of stuff has changed since then. It might sound odd to those of you who don't know much about cancer, but what he has in his brain is kidney cancer. Tomorrow he gets brain radiosurgery, a non-invasive treatment for tumors (outpatient even, welcome to the future). It operates by directing highly focused beams of ionizing radiation with high precision. He qualifies for this because the tumor in his brain is relatively small. Everyone is very confident that the procedure will go well. Please keep dad in your thoughts and prayers!