Monday, June 9, 2014

Our 5th Wedding Anniversary 2014

Even though our 5th anniversary was the least eventful- we just stayed in Long Island, took the kids to the park, and ordered some Indian food - it was also the best. That's because I'm psyched about being a family of four. I've never been in a family of four, and I love it.

Our 5th Anniversary 2014
The 4 Clous on our 5th Wedding Anniversary

Five years is always a good time to check the status of things. If someone had asked us what our 5-year plan was when we got married, happy and "2 kids" would have top of my list. Granted I would have also had "student debt paid off," "house purchase," and "wedding weight" on my list but it's no fun if I have nothing left for my 10-year goals right? The state of this union is strong!

Our 5th Anniversary 2014
The kids are awesome.

Our 5th Anniversary 2014
At the park

James- June 2014
James drew our family! L-R: James, Me, Miranda, and Kevin

When we went to Sunny and Trey's wedding three months after we were first married, Sunny and Trey asked us to give "newlywed" advice. Being so new to the institution of marriage we gave advice about relishing the feeling of being a newlywed. Our attempts to stay in this mindset must have been somewhat effective because my friend Rachel remarked almost a year later that she couldn't believe we were still in the "honeymoon phase."

Csar-Gettinger Wedding 2009
Picture of us at Trey and Sunny's wedding, September 2009

By the time our friends Lukas and Sarah were getting married a year after us, I warned Sarah that the first year might involve a "testing" of the new limits of the relationship- sticking your toe just over the line to see what you can get away with now that the other person is stuck with you! Of course, shortly thereafter you remember that you don't want to push the other person's limits because you love the person and want them to be happy. That was in June of 2010 and that was before we had kids and before losing my dad.

Our First Anniversary 2010
Brooklyn, June 2010

Here are my thoughts on marriage after another 4 years: the most important part of marriage is picking someone good in the first place. Obviously I love Kevin, but life is really hard, harder than you think it will be when you're young, and so sometimes I think that it's even more important that I like him. If you respect and even admire the person your spouse is, it's easy to keep loving them and to love them even more as the years go by. If you don't exactly respect them, then it's easy to forget to love them over time.

FloPa Street Fair 2011 
Street fair in our town, June 2011

Here is the three-part test I would apply for marriage: 1) Do you love them? (Duh.) 2) Would you go into business with this person? (If not, why not? Yeah, that's going to be a problem in marriage too.) 3) If you want kids, do you want your kids to be exactly like this person? Because you actually don't have any control over that, and your kids will carry your heart around forever. That's basically it.

Martha's Vineyard 2012
Martha's Vineyard, June 2012

Of course, Kevin did and would pass my test, but not just pass it, he exceeds it. I think he's awesome. He can do pretty much anything he sets out to do, he's hilarious, loyal, and great at all the relationships in his life: husband, father, son, brother, and friend. He's smart. He's soulful. He's cooperative but challenging in the right proportions. I will never win the lottery (mostly because I don't play the lottery) but I hit the spouse jackpot.

Las Vegas, NV 2013
Vegas Baby! June 2013

I know a lot of people say they love their spouse more than the day that got married, but here is some evidence that I do. Kevin didn't just sit with me when my dad was sick, he did everything he could possibly do to help. He talked to doctors, he weighed options when the rest of us were panicked, he helped my mom even on days I couldn't make it to the hospital. I've talked about this before, but especially now that we have kids, it's a comfort to know that I have someone I can rely on to be a good parent, give good advice, and stand up when things get really hard, like when they're sick.

These days instead of trying to toe the line I try to stay far away from the line. Like in another room if I can. But sometimes I get tired/hungry/uncaffeinated and find myself in the general area. Hopefully, I'll get better at that in the next 5 years. In the meantime you can enjoy Kevin's posts about my ridiculous complaints. When they stop, you'll know I've mastered that. Anyway, 5 years! Woo!!

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