Our 6th Wedding Anniversary 2015

We gambled our anniversary date on a horse. In 2011, we went to the Belmont Stakes with our friends. The best part was that we could just walk over from our house in about 20 minutes. I tried to go again a few years ago when one of the horses won at the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, the first two legs of the Triple Crown. But when that horse scratched before Belmont, I lost motivation.

Still, I love horse races (Gold Cup and Foxfields being my most frequent horse races) and the fact that we live so close to Belmont, called me to the Belmont Stakes every year. Plus, it's a really big deal in our town. They have a town celebration in honor of it the day after every year. One main problem with going has been that it's always on the same weekend which is also our anniversary, my mother's birthday, and Great-Grandma Ruth's birthday so we never have a lot of motivation or a readily available babysitter.

A few things happened this year to motivate me. One is that the race fell exactly on our anniversary and we weren't sure what to do for anniversary anyway. We just went to a fancy night our for our 5th anniversary (6 months late) and a big trip isn't in our budget or time allowance right now. The second thing that happened was that American Pharoah won the first two races. It was at least theoretically possible that we could have a Triple Crown win on our anniversary. The third thing was that our kids had gotten used to a hired babysitter over the last 8 months. So we knew who to call so we could go to Belmont for a little while.

But Kevin was concerned. While we had a really good time in 2011, Kevin was less than impressed with the actual horse track facilities. He was worried that our anniversary wouldn't "be nice enough." I thought this was a little strange considering he loves dive bars. My counter-point: what if it's the Triple Crown? So off to the races we went.

In front of the ivy-covered windows of Belmont Park

While we were emotionally betting on American Pharoah to win, we did not actually bet on American Pharaoh to win because the payout would be pretty low. We'd have to bet a lot to gain anything if he won, and that would mean we'd lose a lot if he lost. So we bet on some less likely horses #6 (my pick because 6th anniversary yo!) and #8 (Kevin's pick). Then we did a trifecta bet that American pharoah would win, #6 would be second (my choice again), and #8 would be third. The trifecta bet had a least a chance of having a nice payout for our very little $10 bet.

In line to place our trifecta bet!

YAY!! TRIPLE CROWN!!

American Pharoah became the first triple crown winner in 37 years! Oh but the horses came in 5, 6, 7. Oh well. Still totally worth it. I will post a video of everyone running out of the stands cheering as soon as I get caught up on videos.

Also, I often post something about our actual marriage in my anniversary posts. This is my thought this year. Each spouse has the responsibility of being the best spouse they can be- not as the temptation drives many- to make the other person be the best spouse they can be. In other words, as a wife, my job is to be the best wife I can be, not to make Kevin be a better husband. He's a great husband any way, and yes, I can talk to him about whatever problem I have, but my main focus is to be more loving to him in the way that he would most appreciate me showing him love. For me, love is very "showy": words, kisses, hugs. For him, love is very action-based. I can love him best when I do things to support him at home, in his career, his mental state, etc. He is awesome at doing these things for me probably in part because he feels they're so important for him. So that's what I'm working on. I hope that my effort is itself a show of love on my way to actually achieving what he wants.

My 34th Birthday in Floral Park 2013

Wow, I'm really getting up there. I'm officially mid-thirties! It's not like I didn't see it coming, we spent a while debating whether 33 counted as mid-thirties last year, and we decided it didn't, but there's no debating it this year.

My awesome friends from college and from New York came to visit, drink wine, eat sushi, and sleepover. I wish I'd gotten a chance to show some of them more of my town, but it was a pretty quick visit. Truly my best gift this year or any year was getting to be with all of them at once.

Christina, Sarah, Ash, Michele, me, Rachel, Megan, Jaime, and Janice

Ready for "34 Fun Things?" Even before they got here, Kevin and James were already spoiling me. Kevin let me sleep in late and got up with James, which is not uncommon in my house, but I wasn't responsible for James all day which was nice. (#1) When I got up James was busily drawing me a birthday card. He worked on it for hours, and it came out so nice (in a modern art kind of way) that I immediately framed it and put it up in the most prominent place in our living room. (#2) Kevin gave me THE camera lens I have been obsessed with for the last 2 years or so. I was so happy, I told him I didn't need anymore gifts for the whole year. (#3) When used correctly, the photos are super awesome. (See photo of me and Janice below.)

With my two favorite boys in the whole world.

Framed birthday card from James (age 22 months)

My mom and my friend Wendy sent me birthday flowers (#4-5), and I got lovely and generous gifts from my mother-in-law Kathy, and grandmother-in law Ruth. (#6-7) I also got calls, emails, and texts from other friends and family. (#8)

Flowers from Wendy and my mom.

When the ladies arrived we relaxed and had wine and cheese. In addition to my hoards of wine and snacks, they brought even more with them. We tried to rise to the challenge! (#9) Since Easter is in March this year, we also had peeps and chocolate bunnies. (#10) James even had his first peep ever. To say that he loved them was an understatement. It was pretty funny to watch him! (#11) My friends brought lots of nice little gifts with them too which was really just too kind on top of everything else. (#12)

First peep ever!

All my friends know I love pictures so much that one of the things that I was looking forward to the most was all the pictures I would take. My photo wish list included a group picture and a picture of me with each friend individually, and we totally rocked the photos. (#13-22)

Individual shot with Ash

Another group photo- all 11 of us

Kevin took James to the park so that we could relax without having him try to stick his hands in our food or spill our wine. But he swung back to deliver a huge helium birthday balloon because he knows I love these. (#23) I know, I'm a 34-year-old child.

Birthday balloon!

Finally, we left for dinner. My friends opted for sushi, possibly because they know it's my favorite, possibly because most of them love it too. (#24) Since we have a great sushi place walking distance from my house, we hoofed it over and had no need to worry about cars or designated drivers. (#25) This led to the purchase of an additional carafe of wine.

Walking to dinner during magic hour

Another group photo- Nine for sushi!

Cheers to awesome friends for life!

We had copious amounts of sushi, and my buddies treated-- again way way too generous. (#26) The waiter surprised me with fried ice cream and everyone sang happy birthday to me. (#27-28) As you get older, people don't sing every year, or even notice you're having a birthday, so it was kind of a treat! Some older man kept trying to talk to me and flirt with me-- he was really old-- but I guess it's flattering? (#29?)

Cute photo with Janice (and you can see the new lens's great focus)

We walked back home, drank more wine, and Ash and Michele scoured my neighborhood to bring back amazing cannolis. (#30) We watched the best episode of Saturday Night Live ever. In honor of my birthday, the host was Justin Timberlake. Think whatever you want about the man or his music, but he is hilarious. My favorite skits were Veganville-- amazing!-- and the Elton John tribute to Hugo Chavez. (#31) Ash, Megan, Janice, Jaime, and Michele slept over because birthday sleepovers are the best and keep us feeling 13 years old forever. (#32)

Sadly, I had to get up with James 3 hours after I went to bad. That was baaaad. (-1... haa no just kidding, you can't subtract). Jaime picked up some New York bagels for us around 8:30 am. (#33) Ash and Megan had to leave on the earlier side, but Jaime, Janice, and Michele were able to hang around and spend more time with me and James. (#34)

Fun things: accomplished. More importantly, I feel really lucky to have all these wonderful friends and family. I feel really loved and I really love you guys. 

Also:
My 33rd birthday with Michele, Christina, Hudson, Kevin, and James
My very pregnant 32nd birthday, and my huge blowout baby shower with all of my girlfriends
My 31st birthday in Chinatown with my college buddies and the opera

Brooklyn Brewery 2012

On Saturday, a group of us went to the Brooklyn Brewery in Williamsburg.  It was Ash's idea of how to spend an afternoon and it was a really good idea.  I'm not usually much of a beer person, but the beer here was really good, and at $20 for 5 beer chips (1 chip per beer, except the reserves which are 2 chips) you can't beat the prices in New York.

Outside the brewery together

We decided to do the free tour of the brewery as well. I heard from a few people not to do it because it's just one room and mainly someone just lectures to you, but I thought it was decent.  You can get a beer before the "tour" and drink it during, so it in no way wastes your time.  The guy who gives the talk about the brewery is funny.  Part of the talk is  about the owner of the brewery Steve Hindy, who turns out to be a super interesting person. Hindy started brewing his own beer while he was a war correspondent in the Middle East. The New York Times just wrote an article about Hindy.

This is what the tour looks like

Mainly, it was a really fun group of people.  Jaime came all the way from Virginia to hang out and watch the Super Bowl the next day.  Ash and Kate came down from upstate New York. Michele, Kate's brother Matt, and their cousin Brian live in the city.

Inside the brewery tour: Matt, Kate, Ash, Michele, Jaime, me, Brian (l-r)

And did I mention the beer was really good? These are the beers we tried: Brooklyn BLAST! (9.0% abv and my favorite), AMA Bionda (6.0% abv, my second favorite, brewed by Amarcord Brewery in the small medieval town of Apecchio, Italy), Mary’s Maple Porter (7.5% abv), Brooklyn Lager (5.2% abv), Brooklyn Brown Ale (5.6% abv), Brooklyn East India Pale Ale (6.9% abv), Brooklyn Radius (4.8% abv), and Brooklyner Weisse (5.1% abv).

Oh yeah, and thanks to my beer love I broke my autofocus on my Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS SLR Lens, so now I'm buying my first non-kit lens. Sometimes something bad turns into something good.

Belmont Stakes and Clous Visit 2011

The Clous!

What an exciting weekend! James's uncle Andrew planned to visit us as soon as he was done with his Masters program, and based on our schedules and convenient flights we thought it would be fun for his trip to coincide with the Belmont Stakes. Since Andrew lives in Florida and we don't get to see him often, Kevin and Andrew's mom decided to come visit at the same time. She stayed and babysat James while we all enjoyed the horse races. The Belmont Stakes are a big deal in our town, so the day before we had fun little street fair here.

Uncle Andrew meets James (at 7 weeks)


At the local street fair

We started our gambling day with mimosas and bagels at our house. Then we put on our most ridiculous hats and walked over to the horsies. We got there in time for five races before the big race of the day. I put a $2 bet on the winner of the first race, but then Kevin taught me about Exacta bets where you pick the winner and the second place for the chance to win more money (because your odds go down). Brady taught me about Exacta Box bets which are really two bets on a winner and a second place horse or the two horses in the other order. With Exacta bets I was able to lose cash more efficiently. Meanwhile, Andrew stuck to regular bets and quietly won the most money of anyone there. Hm.

Mimosas and bagels at our place


Everyone headed to the race + James - surprise guest Brady


Off to the races!


Outdoor area at Belmont Stakes


In the grandstand, after losing a bunch of money on races, beer, and food

This weekend was also the first time that Christina, Dan, and Brady met baby James. Christina brought the baby these awesome socks that look like shoes that I wish they had for adults (for use at carpeted job places). And Brady, well Brady got our child a boomerang. Seriously.

Dan and Christina meet James for the first time


Brady meets James

If you're still keeping track, James is 8 weeks now!

Teresa and John's Wedding 2011

Teresa and John during their first dance

Saturday we went to the first wedding we've been able to attend since James was born. My friend Teresa married her boyfriend of many years at the Bronx Zoo. Teresa wore one of the most spectacular wedding dresses I have ever seen at a wedding I've attended.  It was both attractive to her form, and artistically exciting.  My theory on wedding dresses is that it should first of all make the bride look good (obviously), but the second most important thing is that it not be a dress you could get away with wearing to a fancy cocktail party because you could wear that dress some other time.  Your wedding is your chance to bring it, and Teresa definitely brought it.

The Bronx Zoo was also a really cool venue.  The ceremony took place outside in a beautiful garden, and then cocktail hour was inside the Lemur house, Madagascar exhibit. The reception hall was beautifully decorated with flowers and clear vases that gave the illusion of jungle vines, and each table was named for a zoo animal. Congratulations on a beautiful wedding day and on your new marriage, Teresa and John!

The outdoor ceremony

Cocktail hour in the lemur house

The lemurs

With Teresa

The seals during cocktail hour

Inside the reception hall

I LOVE this! Kevin and I also have laser beam photos but mine is NOT cute.

Peacock wedding cake (plus penguin, monkey, and seal)

Me and Kevin at the wedding, and 2 days before our second anniversary

P.S. My friends Rachel and Tim graciously babysat 1-month-old James, whom they knew from the blog to be a little terror. Just to make me seem silly though he behaved really well for them. Maybe James is just a very polite baby in public, and saves his bad behavior for his private life? James had a great time snacking and sleeping and apparently playing catch with Rachel and Tim's son Isaac. I think their version of catch involves Isaac throwing a ball at James's face, and Tim diving to save James's face from impact. James will be playing baseball in no time at all.

My 32nd Birthday in Floral Park 2011

My birthday was Wednesday, but since I am pregnant, I am the size of a car balancing precariously on size 6 shoes, and because I already had the pleasure of seeing my favorite girl friends at the baby shower this last Saturday, we decided to keep it low-key. Kevin brought me flowers and then we went for sushi.  Don't worry, I have become an expert in the non-raw-fish sushi options.

It was also nice that thanks to Facebook I got over 150 friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. (I didn't count but my Happy Birthday gmail folder did.) Nonetheless, it was a hard day in terms of missing my father.  I had a lot of time to myself during the day, and I spent most of it thinking about him.

If we look tired now, we're really in for it soon.

Flowers from Kevin

Kevin's 31st Birthday 2011

To celebrate Kevin's 31st birthday, a few of us went to BXL Cafe for Belgian food and Belgian beer on draft. It was all very adult and mature probably because we're officially old. At least we had an immature blowout for Kevin's birthday last year. Belgian beer is always great, unless you're pregnant, and then it just makes you jealous. The food was ohhkay though the cheese croquets were so awesome that I will definitely go back just for that.Afterward a few of us went to Jimmy's Corner for more beer for the boys and a little abuse from the staff there. That's how it's done in Manhattan.

Everyone at dinner


The two of us

Off to Jimmy's Corner...

For his actual birthday today, I made him bacon, eggs, and toast for breakfast, I tried to not complain about anything. The evening is the best though, we ordered Chinese and we're watching The State dvd his mom sent him. It feels like my birthday too now. Happy birthday, Kevin!

Things My Wife Complains About: #17 Spending an Entire Day in the City Doing Everything She Wants to Do

If you're not currently pregnant or haven't been pregnant in the immediate past, you've never heard of a "babymoon." A "babymoon" is a way to spend money on yourself, instead of the child growing inside of you, which seems sensible if you're receiving weekly emails telling you what vegetable your fetus is the size of (current size: maize). In lieu of traveling somewhere exotic with someone who let her passport expire, hates flying, is uncomfortable everywhere, and doesn't like the way she looks in anything but a Snuggie, I decided we might take advantage of the things she's long wanted to do in New York but hasn't done because those things are boring.

We started by going for soup dumplings. My wife didn't complain about the soup dumplings unless expressing frustration that the soup dumplings weren't on the menu and wondering why I'd take her somewhere for soup dumplings that doesn't have soup dumplings sounds like a complaint (note: the people next to us were loudly and obviously eating soup dumplings). Next we made it through nearly twenty yards of Central Park before my wife complained that she was tired--a reasonable claim for someone in her advanced state--so we did what anyone tired does and took several hundred photos of her belly in front of bushes.

After Central Park, we went to the American Museum of Natural History, which I will confess is not boring, if only for the floating blue whale the size of a rocket ship and Brontosaurus in disguise. Unfortunately, my wife turned into the little-understood Pregosaurus halfway through the museum. The Pregosaurus, I learned, is low to the ground and slow moving. It is unpredictable, omnivorous, and has to sit in Starbucks between feedings to complain about its feet.

Pregosaurus and Allosaurus
For the evening portion of the "Babymoon," we took in the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, sponsored by every corporation in the United States. This is the narrative arc of the RCCS for the uninitiated: Santa invents reasons for forty white women to kick their legs in the air for an hour (rising tension), some kid suddenly and unconvincingly discovers the True Meaning of Christmas (climax), Jesus--unmentioned to that point--is born in front of live camels (denouement). Before any of this happened, my wife went to the restroom. When she came out, she said, I can't tell you how many things I have to complain about in there.

Possible Solutions!

1) Turn the "Babymoon" into a "Maybemoon," in which we discuss all the things we might do; ultimately, do nothing
2) Preemptively complain about crazy things (could this sunset BE more orange?) and see how wife responds
3) Invent "Husbandmoon," which takes place in Florida during Spring Training and is greeted enthusiastically by a lack of complaints (hard)

Rogers 60th Wedding Anniversary 2010

This week has been very hard. Kevin and I spent Thanksgiving Day with mom but celebrating the holiday didn't feel right. Mom made ropa vieja for dinner and we ate away from the dining room table. Dad really liked Thanksgiving, and because my mother's side is Cuban and didn't really grasp the concept of Thanksgiving, I always associate Thanksgiving with my dad and his family. We only had Thanksgiving with my maternal grandparents once and there was a full roasted pork instead of a turkey, and yucca (dad's most hated vegetable) instead of mashed potatoes.  Thanksgivings were usually spent in Upstate New York or Cape Cod with dad's parents, siblings, and nephews.  Dad would make, and often burn, my favorite dish- sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top.

But Kevin's grandparents were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary on Thanksgiving, and they'd held off the celebration to the following day so that we could make it. And if there's one thing I learned from all this is that I regret every holiday and special occasion I didn't spend with family, so off we went to the Cape.  We also visited Dad's family while we were there. I was glad to be around family, and the three Cape Cod great-grandparents were all eager to hear about the baby.  Kevin and Grandma Kathy even felt the baby kick for the first time. 

Four generations: Great-grandparents, grandma, parents and uncle, and future baby

 

Wedding photo from November 25, 1950

Ruth and George with their four children in about 1959: 

(l-r) Denise, Mary, and Kathy, and baby Dickie in George's arms

Sarah and Donald's Wedding 2010

Sarah and Donald got married in Sarah's hometown of Huntsville, Alabama. Needless to say, it was the first time many of us had been to Alabama. The wedding ceremony was at a Catholic church. The bride was beautiful, and both the bride and groom looked very happy. Josh was a groomsman, and he was wearing a tuxedo and proper dress shoes, which is a huge step up for him from his tuxedo t-shirt. I did a reading from the Book of Ruth, and rocked it.  But the flower girls were really the most outstanding participants aside from the bride and groom.

Mr. and Mrs. Burke after the ceremony

Isabel tries to steal the show

Rosie keeps it professional

The reception was very fun. A lot of the traditional wedding reception elements were there but in a somewhat less formal way- quicker or more relaxed. The band was solid- at one point I was wondering why Cyndi Lauper was there, and I turned around to see a man doing a perfect version of True Colors. I went to the buffet a little after my friends had gone and I got several different recommendations about the tasty things I should not miss.

Oh my gosh, how cute were they?

The UVA Law friends

One of the most lovely parts of the wedding was how wonderful and welcoming both the Hughes family and the Burke family were. They were not just the average polite families you would expect at a wedding, but the parents and siblings were truly loving and friendly to all the guests. I found myself wishing I were also joining their families, and I was not the only one that felt this way. Donald and Sarah are doubly blessed now.

Sarah's sister and brother

Donald's sister and brother

The bride and groom dancing the night away