Friday, January 21, 2011

My Grandmother Mima Passed Away

My maternal grandmother took care of me for a few years when I was little.  She was there when I lost my first tooth. She moved to Miami with my grandfather in about 1993. She stayed there when my grandfather died in 1997.  She was only 62 at that time, but she never dated again. She was the second call I made after my parents when Kevin proposed. When I told her I was pregnant she screamed with delight.  She was making some kind of crib bedding for the baby, and we were both looking forward to her visiting after the baby was born (in about 12 weeks).  The last time I talked to her a day ago she asked about the baby and reminded me to send her pictures of my belly because she hadn't seen it yet.

My mother spoke to the doctor yesterday afternoon and he said my grandmother had emphysema and bronchitis but she would be fine, and he would have sent her home with oxygen already except she has a cortisone allergy so they couldn't give her cortisone. They gave her an anticoagulant shot in her stomach as a matter of routine and she developed a subcutaneous hematoma (a bruise). It was causing her pain, so they gave her pain killers. She lost lucidity and was in and out after that. The doctor put her on the subacute cardiac floor even though he said her heart was fine so that they could observe her more carefully.  Yesterday after her friend Sylvia went home for the evening, she died from a pulmonary embolism.

Do you understand? Because I don't. I don't understand anything. Today is the two month anniversary of my father passing away. If anyone says, "Everything happens for a reason," one more time, I am going to scream.

It's snowing in New York this morning.

1981 12 24 Christmas new 509b
With my grandmother on Christmas when I was 3 and she was 48

GW Graduation 2001
The week of my college graduation, she was 66 years old

Visiting Mima in Miami 2007
Visiting Mima in 2007, 72 years old

653
Dancing with my grandmother at my wedding 2009, 74 years old

8 comments:

Robin said...

My thoughts and love are with you and your family, Ericka.

Anonymous said...

Often there are no reasons E, at least that we understand. I wish there were. I only know that I am sorry and I am praying that some joy will come to you, and your mom, soon. I wish I had magic words, but I only have the thought that every human being suffers loss and that we are not alone in that, even if you feel like you are. I wish I could just be there for you like you encouraged me to be there for B. Thoughts and Prayers,
Meghan

eralon said...

At first, months ago, I felt some comfort that I didn't have to suffer alone. Even just one tragedy affects many people. But now, I am discouraged by how common and frequent suffering is, how inescapable, how suffering has no per capita quota. Even how my suffering is dwarfed by other suffering. How is more bearable?

Chris (sy) (tine) said...

So sorry Ericka. I wish I could help you understand, but I just can't. xo

M said...

My condolences. She was a great dancer at your wedding. I also liked it when she thought I was a priest. QEPD

Brady

eralon said...

She was the one dancing, but it was Grandma Daisy who thought you were a minister.

Jackie said...

Oh Ericka, I am so sorry. This has not been an easy year for you - I wish there was something I could do to help :/

Anonymous said...

prima- she was another mother to me, so much more than just my aunt. we were always close. she was one of about 10 people at my wedding. she was our 3rd phone call when we found out about both pregnancies (1st my mom, 2nd joel's mom). she was in the delivery room with us during the births of both of my children. she was the 2nd person to hold xander when he was born, only joel held him before her. since joel & i seperated, i spent countless hours talking about my life with her. 3 months ago, the boys & i had to come stay with my parents (jut until i can get back on my feet) & at least twice a week, i'd pack the kids up & head to her house for the day. im so glad i had that time with her. i drove her to the hospital last sunday & i never hought it would be the last time we'd go anywere together. my mom & me were there with her everyday. we left her only 45 minutes before she passed. i hate the fact that we werent there. i havent stopped crying since the moment the doctor called. i miss her so much ericka. they let us stay with her for a few hours & i was able to say my good-byes. i did her hair & put lip gloss & blush on her. she looked good prima, at peace. she missed nico & i find comfort in knowing that they are together again. she loved you so much eicka & she was always so very, very proud of you & all that you have done. her only regret was not getting the chance to meet your baby but take comfort in knowing that your baby has an awesome trio of guardian angels watching over him- mima, jim & peepo. im here for you if you need me mama. i love you little cousin. que dios te bendiga a ti y a el nene.

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