Miranda's 1st and James's 4th Birthday Party 2015

I am so grateful to everyone who came and everyone who couldn't come but sent presents for our little love bugs. Like crazy grateful- tears of joy grateful. I don't know what we did to deserve such amazing friends and family in our life or if we just got lucky but THANK YOU. (And sorry I'm late on the actual thank you cards, but I swear they are coming.)

Helping Miranda blow out the candle on her big chocolate/dulce de leche cake

James blows out candle on his Curious George "ganilla" cake (vanilla)

Super awesome Ash cutting up the cake.

Some special thank yous to Nana (my mom) who brought Miranda's cake and all the Cuban appetizers, Grandma (Kevin's mom) who brought the Curious George cake all the way from the Cape, and Ash who came a day early and did all the decorating basically on her own.

 

La Familia Cubana y Irlandes

Uncle David, Great-granda Daisy, me, Miranda

Hudson, Christina, and Tim

Rachel, Miranda, Eleanor mom, Tania

Dan, Eleanor, and Aria

Mom with besties Tania and Onel

Christina, Aria, Miranda, Bob

Jon, Nick, and Emily- totally candid.

James and Miranda opening presents.

I asked James if he liked his party and why. He said, "Yeah, and I like Happy Halloween, and Christmas. They are so fun." 

But what about your party? "I liked the cake." 

What do you think Miranda liked about the party? "I think Miranda liked everything about the party."

James's 1st Birthday Party 2012

James first birthday party went really well. A lot of fabulous people came over for it. In Cuban culture, and really in most countries, a baby's first birthday is one of the most important birthdays. It is often celebrated like a mini-wedding.  Traditionally, I think this was because a child that lived through the first year was much more likely to survive in the long term. We didn't really want to spend money on renting a place and catering, especially when so few of our friends have children yet, but we tried to have the nicest at-home party we could muster.

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James with his four favorite people in the world

My mom helped a lot by getting us the cake we specially ordered and bringing special Cuban appetizers such as: bocaditos, croquetas, pastelitos de carne, and pastelitos de guayaba y queso. 

The birthday cake was from La Gran Via, a WNY, NJ bakery (bottom tier yellow cake with custard and guava, top tier chocolate with chocolate custard)

All of our local family, family friends, and many of our local friends were there. It was really nice having everyone there, especially people who came from New Jersey and upstate New York. Onel came 2 hours from Pennsylvania and Grandma Kathy came all the way from Cape Cod!

Family friends through my Mom: Rick, Madison, Yohana, Arelys, mom, and Onel

The Alonso side of the family: Uncle David, Melanie, and Great-Grandma Daisy

It was definitely a highlight having some children at the party though. James rarely gets to play with other kids and usually just when we take him to the Cape (mostly his best buddy Ellen).  He spent most of the party chasing the Rachel and Tim's kids, Isaac and Eleanor.  We got a pinata, because I had one at my 1st birthday but I knew in advance they were all a bit too young for it. (Can anyone say candy choking hazard?)  Nonetheless, we gave it a shot.

James flirting with Eleanor (Hey baby, I have a helium balloon.)

Tim providing pinata assistance to Isaac, Eleanor, and James.
(Notice the random baby weapons they're wielding:
bat, mallet, hammer, and party horn.)

The child who stole the show the most though was baby Hudson. At barely two months old he wasn't busy playing with the other kids, but because he's little and a terrifically quiet baby everyone wanted to hold him (none of that he's-crying-give-him-back-to-his-mother stuff). He was delish and he was passed around around the party the entire time.

Ash meets and snuggles Hudson

The "Clous" and "McClouds"

James didn't get the whole cake-singing-candle-blowing stuff so we helped him with that, but hehad no trouble understanding the cake-eating stuff. Like an unruly gremlin he managed to get food from various people at the party and spent the after-midnight hours paying for it with a tummy ache. Oh well, at least he enjoyed the actual party!

Blowing out his first candle

Enjoying his first birthday cake with Michele

James with the Sterns

Making silly faces with Briggs

James received a ton of presents from our extremely generous friends and family, but here's one particularly cute one:

 

Wearing their matching Irish sweaters made by Grandma Kathy

Thank you to everyone who came to the party or who sent your love! It meant a lot to me!

James Visits New Jersey- August 2011

James recently took a little scream-filled ride to New Jersey to visit his great-grandmother Daisy. (Side note: Recently it has occurred to me that she might spell it Daysi. I always assumed it was spelled the English way. Like many Hispanic people she goes by her middle name, so I never see it in writing.) She fed us an enormous and delicious lunch of ribs, plantains, and moro (black beans and rice). My brother David stopped by to visit with James as well. They seem to get along well, except that James is a Red Sox fan who watches every single game with his father at 5 a.m. in the morning, and David is a Yankees fan.

With his great-grandmother Daisy or "Abuelita" to me


Taking a little nap on Abuelita's super-girly bed


With his Uncle David

After, we went to my mother's place so that her friends Onel and Tania could meet James. Onel is one of my favorite people ever since he was extremely supportive of my parents when my dad was sick last year. Onel and Tania live in Pennsylvania, far-out, and Onel has a very demanding job, but he still came to see my father a number of times. He would come to the hospital and find us in any room where we had been moved. My dad was always happy to see him. It got to the point where I half expected him to show up at the hospital when I was there having James. But I guess he decided I might prefer privacy. Ha! He is always welcome anywhere he wants to be when it comes to my family.

Posing for Arelys's camera phone picture


Holding on to Onel's finger (with Onel and Tania)


Trying to subtly move into biting down on Onel's hand (teething issues)

My Baby Shower 2011

My mother's friends and the two baby-grandmas threw me a beautiful baby shower this weekend. I was so happy to see so many friends and family there, and I could not believe how overly-generous everyone was. Baby Clou is going to be so lucky to have all these fantastic people in his life, much as I am.

There were also lots of my favorite Cuban appetizers, but sadly I got to eat none. I hope the rest of you got an education in croquetas, guava pastelitos, and bocadillos.  Even the baby food jars with my head pasted on the baby were appropriately mango flavored (my favorite!). Ash sent out the most beautiful invitations, Janice got a delicious kick-ass cake, and Sarah bought some perfectly coordinated balloons to the party. Lots of friends came from far away, and everyone was politely shocked at how ginormous I am. The photos really don't do my circumference justice.

Thank you all so much! Actual thank you notes in progress!

And now, the thing I love the most- a million photos:

I love group photos!

My mom pinning me with a little baby sock corsage
like the one she had at her baby shower

My handsome baby daddy and husband

Kevin's aunt Fran and mother Kathy came down from Cape Cod

My grandmother Daisy and hopefully-future-sister-in-law Melanie

Check out the flowers and cake!

The lone Ramsey High representative, Allison, came from Boston

College buddies from NY and DC: Rachel, Ash, Janice, Jaime, Christina, Megan

Cathy and her little baby Madison came all the way from State College, PA!

Law School friends: Sarah, Sarah, and Jackie

The Wives Club: Sarah, Robin, and Becky

Work buddies: Adrienne, Akua, and Christie

Mom and her "cougar" friends

Thanksgiving 2010

I was hoping for a different Thanksgiving this year and for many years to come than what will be. I was looking forward to taking full family pictures this year with a pregnant belly and next year with the baby. But I am still thankful for some things.

On my wedding day, I remembered how lucky I was that dad had made it through his kidney cancer in 1999. I felt lucky that he could walk me down the aisle and dance with me at the wedding. I am thankful Kevin and I went to my dad's favorite place in Upstate New York with my parents last summer after we got married. I am thankful that I spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my parents last year especially since I never suspected it was my last chance to spend the holidays with both of them.

I am thankful that my dad wasn't working for the six months before his diagnosis. Even though he was depressed about not being able to find another job, he was still able to spend that time with mom and their friends and enjoying the outdoors. During that time, my parents visited us in our Brooklyn apartment shortly after my birthday, and Kevin and I treated my parents to dinner for their 25th wedding anniversary.  Before dad began treatment we had a dinner at home that he was able to enjoy.  After he started treatment I remember being thankful even at the time for the opportunity to make him a sandwich. If you are lucky enough to have your parents or children you love, please do everything you can to make them happy while they are healthy -- whether it is big or small.

I am grateful that after his diagnosis, Kevin took me to every appointment dad had with a doctor or procedure he had done.  When I couldn't make it because of work, Kevin went without me.  Every weekend that we didn't have a close friend's wedding to attend we spent with my parents in New Jersey. He helped me with talking to doctors and calling insurance.  He did innumerable favors for my parents and continues to do so for my mother.  He is truly a son to both of my parents.  I might spend the rest of my life making it up to him for how wonderful he is.  We had no idea that my dad would only have 4 months but I am so glad that there is very little we would have done differently if we had known.

I am grateful that my mother was at my father's side every single day since his diagnosis.  There was rarely a day she didn't spend 10-12 hours or more at his side.  Knowing she was there and that he had her to take care of him was an amazing comfort to me.  Everything she did, she did just for him and no one else, but what an amazing gift she gave all of us who love my father.  She was smart and strong for both of them.  Anyone who has been through cancer or a loved one's illness knows that a great deal depends on the patient's support system.  Someone has to be there to ask a million questions and fight for their loved ones- whether it be with insurance companies, pharmacies, doctors, or errant nurses.  He had wonderful nurses and PCAs when he was on the oncology floor at Valley Hospital, but my mother still learned their jobs and tried to personally do everything for my dad herself.  I assure you there is no better nurse than my mother caring for someone she loves.  I am happy to have my mother in my life, and proud that she is so intelligent, strong, and loving.  I hope to live up to be the kind of woman that she is.

I am relieved that my mother and I never left my father alone during the last week of his life. Once the doctor told us that the tumors had grown on Sunday the 14th, my mother started staying overnight so that dad wouldn't be lonely or afraid or suffer any pain or discomfort that she could prevent. I stayed at least 10 hours a day.  One of dad's last meals was his favorite chocolate milkshake that I bought him and mom fed him.  I gave him his last glass of water.  We told him we loved him hundreds of times in four months in as many ways as we knew how.  I am so glad I  told him he was a wonderful father.  

I am grateful to the friends that visited and helped, especially my mother's friend Onel.  Thankful forever to my friends that came to visit to help me personally, and to the few that sent food. It's hard to tell people what they can do for you when your world is falling apart; what a blessing for friends that do whatever they can think of to help.

I am really grateful that Kevin and I will have someone else to love soon and that we will be parents.  Though I really wish people would stop saying that it somehow makes up for the loss of my dad.  It doesn't.  On the contrary, dad was at his best with children.  How sad that our child will never know such a wonderful grandfather, and that we can never have visits or holidays all together.

Thanksgivings past:

With my parents in Upstate NY in 1988

On the Cape in 2001

On the Cape in 2003

On the Cape in 2004

In New Jersey in 2007, the day after Kevin proposed

In New Jersey in 2008

On the Cape in 2009