My Grandmother Mima Passed Away

My maternal grandmother took care of me for a few years when I was little.  She was there when I lost my first tooth. She moved to Miami with my grandfather in about 1993. She stayed there when my grandfather died in 1997.  She was only 62 at that time, but she never dated again. She was the second call I made after my parents when Kevin proposed. When I told her I was pregnant she screamed with delight.  She was making some kind of crib bedding for the baby, and we were both looking forward to her visiting after the baby was born (in about 12 weeks).  The last time I talked to her a day ago she asked about the baby and reminded me to send her pictures of my belly because she hadn't seen it yet.

My mother spoke to the doctor yesterday afternoon and he said my grandmother had emphysema and bronchitis but she would be fine, and he would have sent her home with oxygen already except she has a cortisone allergy so they couldn't give her cortisone. They gave her an anticoagulant shot in her stomach as a matter of routine and she developed a subcutaneous hematoma (a bruise). It was causing her pain, so they gave her pain killers. She lost lucidity and was in and out after that. The doctor put her on the subacute cardiac floor even though he said her heart was fine so that they could observe her more carefully.  Yesterday after her friend Sylvia went home for the evening, she died from a pulmonary embolism.

Do you understand? Because I don't. I don't understand anything. Today is the two month anniversary of my father passing away. If anyone says, "Everything happens for a reason," one more time, I am going to scream.

It's snowing in New York this morning.

With my grandmother on Christmas when I was 3 and she was 48

The week of my college graduation, she was 66 years old

Visiting Mima in 2007, 72 years old

Dancing with my grandmother at my wedding 2009, 74 years old

Grandmother Mima Sick 2011

There will be no baby update today. I'm exhausted. It's been 8 weeks since my father passed away, and today we heard that my grandmother is in the hospital because she couldn't breathe.  We had been planning to fly her up to stay with us for a week after the baby came. Now it's not looking likely as it will depend on her treatment.

We're not sure what she has, but at a minimum she has emphysema, or possibly cancer.  She's fairly young at 76 for someone who is soon to be a great-grandmother, so she will probably take treatment well if it's emphysema, but it's a degenerative disease and you cannot get better.

She's a smoker, or was for most of her life, so this isn't unexpected so much as awful timing.    Doesn't seem like we get room to breathe around here. First my father passed away, something I am still struggling with every day. Then Kevin's father had a heart attack three weeks later, though he has recovered well. And now my grandmother is sick, which is probably too much for my mother to handle so soon after my dad.

Our Wedding Reception 2009

Our reception began at 7 p.m. in the Nantucket Room of the Wychmere Harbor Club. Our first married was dance to Sea of Love, a 1950s love song.  It was originally by John Phillip Baptiste (a.k.a. Phil Phillips) and George Khoury, but we danced to the Cat Power cover from her 2000 Covers album. We liked some other songs as well but found them impossible to dance to, and Sea of Love was on theme with our Cape Cod seashore wedding.

First dance dip!

Our table cards were recent photos of our wedding guests (I made them myself), and around the outside of the table we had our five sets of grandparents' wedding pictures.

Photo table cards

Our beautiful and simple Cape-Cod-beach-theme cake was one of the easiest wedding decisions. We both instantly agreed to get the cake the moment we saw it. We used my parents' cake knife set to cut the cake.

Feeding Kevin cake

The bouquet toss got the party really started:

Jen and Brooke go for the bouquet, and Brooke catches it

Dancing to Beyoncé's Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) right after the bouquet toss

Dancing with my grandmother to Celia Cruz; it's tough to beat these moments in life:

Dancing with Mima

My parents dancing to their own wedding song, Lionel Richie's Hello.

My parents are cute.

Jon won the worm-off with Paduch (it's like a dance-off, but you do the "worm":

Jon doing the worm

Our real song together was the last song at the wedding, Of Montreal's Wraith Pinned To The Mist, with the "bizarre celebrations" lyrics and a quick tempo. Kevin introduced me to the indie tune early in our relationship, and right away I knew I wanted it played at our wedding. The song captures what our relationship felt like when we started dating- a big wild happy party. One of the best moments in the reception was when the DJ played the song at the end and absolutely everyone at the wedding came out onto the dance floor and made the song come true. Thank you guys. I love you more than you could know.

Last dance of the wedding.

Off to our honeymoon in Greece!

Mima's 73rd Birthday 2007

Got a chance to visit my grandmother Mima at her home in Florida on her birthday. She took care of me when I was little and I love her very much.

Mima and me


Kevin got to meet her too!