Our 8th Wedding Anniversary 2017

For our 8th Wedding Anniversary, Kevin and I spent most of the day engaged in potty training Miranda, including at the public library, with disastrous effects. In the evening though, Kevin got us a babysitter and we went to Old Fields for dinner, and then got another drink at Orto. We actually managed to have interesting conversation not related to the kids! As for the marriage in general, I remain convinced, even more than last year, that I married the best person ever.

 

8th Anniversary selfie at Old Fields

Profesh photo from April of this year

We've done good work in 8 years!

Our 7th Wedding Anniversary 2016

Our 7th wedding anniversary was on the heels of our big trip to Japan, so we weren't of the mind that we deserved anything too extravagant. But we did think a date night night was in order. I urged we get Mexican because we always get sushi, but we ended up getting Mexican food, margaritas, and then sushi for dessert. Not normal but very fun.

That's about right.

Our 6th Wedding Anniversary 2015

We gambled our anniversary date on a horse. In 2011, we went to the Belmont Stakes with our friends. The best part was that we could just walk over from our house in about 20 minutes. I tried to go again a few years ago when one of the horses won at the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, the first two legs of the Triple Crown. But when that horse scratched before Belmont, I lost motivation.

Still, I love horse races (Gold Cup and Foxfields being my most frequent horse races) and the fact that we live so close to Belmont, called me to the Belmont Stakes every year. Plus, it's a really big deal in our town. They have a town celebration in honor of it the day after every year. One main problem with going has been that it's always on the same weekend which is also our anniversary, my mother's birthday, and Great-Grandma Ruth's birthday so we never have a lot of motivation or a readily available babysitter.

A few things happened this year to motivate me. One is that the race fell exactly on our anniversary and we weren't sure what to do for anniversary anyway. We just went to a fancy night our for our 5th anniversary (6 months late) and a big trip isn't in our budget or time allowance right now. The second thing that happened was that American Pharoah won the first two races. It was at least theoretically possible that we could have a Triple Crown win on our anniversary. The third thing was that our kids had gotten used to a hired babysitter over the last 8 months. So we knew who to call so we could go to Belmont for a little while.

But Kevin was concerned. While we had a really good time in 2011, Kevin was less than impressed with the actual horse track facilities. He was worried that our anniversary wouldn't "be nice enough." I thought this was a little strange considering he loves dive bars. My counter-point: what if it's the Triple Crown? So off to the races we went.

In front of the ivy-covered windows of Belmont Park

While we were emotionally betting on American Pharoah to win, we did not actually bet on American Pharaoh to win because the payout would be pretty low. We'd have to bet a lot to gain anything if he won, and that would mean we'd lose a lot if he lost. So we bet on some less likely horses #6 (my pick because 6th anniversary yo!) and #8 (Kevin's pick). Then we did a trifecta bet that American pharoah would win, #6 would be second (my choice again), and #8 would be third. The trifecta bet had a least a chance of having a nice payout for our very little $10 bet.

In line to place our trifecta bet!

YAY!! TRIPLE CROWN!!

American Pharoah became the first triple crown winner in 37 years! Oh but the horses came in 5, 6, 7. Oh well. Still totally worth it. I will post a video of everyone running out of the stands cheering as soon as I get caught up on videos.

Also, I often post something about our actual marriage in my anniversary posts. This is my thought this year. Each spouse has the responsibility of being the best spouse they can be- not as the temptation drives many- to make the other person be the best spouse they can be. In other words, as a wife, my job is to be the best wife I can be, not to make Kevin be a better husband. He's a great husband any way, and yes, I can talk to him about whatever problem I have, but my main focus is to be more loving to him in the way that he would most appreciate me showing him love. For me, love is very "showy": words, kisses, hugs. For him, love is very action-based. I can love him best when I do things to support him at home, in his career, his mental state, etc. He is awesome at doing these things for me probably in part because he feels they're so important for him. So that's what I'm working on. I hope that my effort is itself a show of love on my way to actually achieving what he wants.

Our 5th Wedding Anniversary 2014

Even though our 5th anniversary was the least eventful- we just stayed in Long Island, took the kids to the park, and ordered some Indian food - it was also the best. That's because I'm psyched about being a family of four. I've never been in a family of four, and I love it.

The 4 Clous on our 5th Wedding Anniversary

Five years is always a good time to check the status of things. If someone had asked us what our 5-year plan was when we got married, happy and "2 kids" would have top of my list. Granted I would have also had "student debt paid off," "house purchase," and "wedding weight" on my list but it's no fun if I have nothing left for my 10-year goals right? The state of this union is strong!

The kids are awesome.

At the park

James drew our family! L-R: James, Me, Miranda, and Kevin

When we went to Sunny and Trey's wedding three months after we were first married, Sunny and Trey asked us to give "newlywed" advice. Being so new to the institution of marriage we gave advice about relishing the feeling of being a newlywed. Our attempts to stay in this mindset must have been somewhat effective because my friend Rachel remarked almost a year later that she couldn't believe we were still in the "honeymoon phase."

Picture of us at Trey and Sunny's wedding, September 2009

By the time our friends Lukas and Sarah were getting married a year after us, I warned Sarah that the first year might involve a "testing" of the new limits of the relationship- sticking your toe just over the line to see what you can get away with now that the other person is stuck with you! Of course, shortly thereafter you remember that you don't want to push the other person's limits because you love the person and want them to be happy. That was in June of 2010 and that was before we had kids and before losing my dad.

Brooklyn, June 2010

Here are my thoughts on marriage after another 4 years: the most important part of marriage is picking someone good in the first place. Obviously I love Kevin, but life is really hard, harder than you think it will be when you're young, and so sometimes I think that it's even more important that I like him. If you respect and even admire the person your spouse is, it's easy to keep loving them and to love them even more as the years go by. If you don't exactly respect them, then it's easy to forget to love them over time.

 

Street fair in our town, June 2011

Here is the three-part test I would apply for marriage: 1) Do you love them? (Duh.) 2) Would you go into business with this person? (If not, why not? Yeah, that's going to be a problem in marriage too.) 3) If you want kids, do you want your kids to be exactly like this person? Because you actually don't have any control over that, and your kids will carry your heart around forever. That's basically it.

Martha's Vineyard, June 2012

Of course, Kevin did and would pass my test, but not just pass it, he exceeds it. I think he's awesome. He can do pretty much anything he sets out to do, he's hilarious, loyal, and great at all the relationships in his life: husband, father, son, brother, and friend. He's smart. He's soulful. He's cooperative but challenging in the right proportions. I will never win the lottery (mostly because I don't play the lottery) but I hit the spouse jackpot.

Vegas Baby! June 2013

I know a lot of people say they love their spouse more than the day that got married, but here is some evidence that I do. Kevin didn't just sit with me when my dad was sick, he did everything he could possibly do to help. He talked to doctors, he weighed options when the rest of us were panicked, he helped my mom even on days I couldn't make it to the hospital. I've talked about this before, but especially now that we have kids, it's a comfort to know that I have someone I can rely on to be a good parent, give good advice, and stand up when things get really hard, like when they're sick.

These days instead of trying to toe the line I try to stay far away from the line. Like in another room if I can. But sometimes I get tired/hungry/uncaffeinated and find myself in the general area. Hopefully, I'll get better at that in the next 5 years. In the meantime you can enjoy Kevin's posts about my ridiculous complaints. When they stop, you'll know I've mastered that. Anyway, 5 years! Woo!!

Our 4th Wedding Anniversary 2013

We celebrated our anniversary Thursday evening with a Cape Cod dinner date. Kevin, James, and I arrived on the Cape in the afternoon, had lunch with Kevin's grandmother Ruth, got dressed, and left James with Kevin's mother. But before we left, we took pictures. Of course we did!

Taking a photo with Nomar (the original family from 2007)

Photobombed by James who is afraid of and in love with Nomar

Love has won out over fear

We had big tropical drinks at Sundancers. Then we had lobster rolls and clam chowder and more drinks at Summer Shanty. We had a blast. Here are our mandatory selfies.

Drinks at Sundancers

Omnious timer photo at Summer Shanty

Cheerier photo taken by random fisherman

Martha's Vineyard 2012

 

Near East Chop Beach

For our anniversary together, Kevin and I often like to plan to do something fun together instead of buying gifts. (Though those are sometimes nice as well.) This year, fr our 3rd anniversary we decided we wanted to go to Martha's Vineyard since we hadn't been. It made sense to wait until we were visiting the Cape, so that we'd be closer and have Grandma Kathy to watch James. Getting onto the ferry, and particularly parking for the ferry, was a ridiculous mess. But we felt ready to "vacation" once we were on the ferry. It was a two-hour ride over.

The two of us on the ferry to Martha's Vineyard.

We docked in the town of Oak Bluffs, so pretty much as a consequence of inertia, we spent the rest of the day there. Next time we visit (and we liked it enough that there will probably be a next time) I hope to see the other towns. There are 5 main things to do in Oak Bluffs: go to the beach, eat delicious seafood and drink tasty beverages, go shopping, admire the houses, or go look at a light house. Also, you can go ride on the oldest platform carousel in the country, but it's originally from Coney Island.

Where we landed in Oak Bluffs.

Flying Horse Carousel

We walked around a little before grabbing lobster rolls at Nancy's and tropical drinks at Donovan's Reef. Then we went to the Oak Bluff Town Beach just long enough to dip our toes in and walk along the water.  Then we went to Ocean Park and wound our way around the tropical-colored Victorian houses that crowd the island.

Kevin at Oak Bluffs Town Beach

The beautiful Ocean Park

We window shopped a little before we decided to walk out to the closest lighthouse, which was deceptively far away and uphill.  Kevin said something about it being a fun anniversary trip and not wanting to take me on a death march, but in 90 degree weather, it definitely got a little questionable. I'd like to say the light house was amazing and totally worth but you, know, it looked basically like a light house.

The East Chop Lighthouse

After that I was too exhausted to even take more pictures. We got some beers and chowder at the Offshore Ale Company, which is kind of cool because the floor is covered in peanut shells. We got ice cream at Mad Martha's, only to discover 4 better ice cream places immediately after that. And finally, to complete our gluttonous tour: fried food, yummy sushi, and drinks at the Lookout Tavern. We might have a bit of a problem with food on vacation. 

Oh and speaking of eating too much, to kick off our anniversary celebrating, when we were in Quincy the day before we stopped by the bakery that did our wedding cake and purchased the slice that most resembled what we served at our wedding.  We had white cake with raspberry coulis at our wedding, but Montillio's strawberry shortcake is pretty close. It was nice because when we tried to eat our cake on our first anniversary it was freezer-burned, so it's nice to know we can just get it fresh anytime we're in the area.

At Montillio's in Quincy eating our "wedding cake"

Our 2nd Wedding Anniversary 2011

Kevin and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary on Monday.  Last year, we went to Niagara Falls to celebrate a week early during Memorial Day Weekend. Then on the actual day of our anniversary we went to the Brooklyn Bridge Park, smashed our wedding wine bottle guestbook, and then ate some famous Grimaldi's pizza. (Note: Because of my guestbook idea that post was added to some wedding search engine, so the post is by far our most popular with hundreds of hits.)

This year, and I might have mentioned this somewhere here, we had a baby on our hands, so we had to tone it down. Besides, we had our night of dressing up, dinner, and dancing on the night of the Kosmidis wedding two days earlier. So Kevin and I celebrated by taking a family walk in our town's bird sanctuary garden, taking some photos, and ordering copious amounts of sushi for dinner. James did not cooperate by being happy or quiet, but he's making up for it today by being the angel baby he always is when we leave him with someone else.

Taken by James (well, the automatic propped up on his stroller)

Since James was so good, I had an opportunity to scan photos for the first time since I was pregnant. Some of you know how happy such a thing makes me. The first thing I scanned was a few more guestbook messages I couldn't find last year, and look, my friend Cate's message was prescient of life after our first anniversary when we opened the bottle.  I was pregnant for much of the last year of our marriage, and Kevin got MLB.TV a streaming television application so he can watch Red Sox games that aren't on the networks in our area. Um-hum, lots of baby, and lots of Red Sox.

Cate's message in a bottle for our first anniversary

On a more serious note, it's difficult to express how my love and respect for my husband has grown over the past year because of his incredible support during the illness and death of my father, and during my long and tiring pregnancy. And also, now, watching him be the most amazing father ever to our baby. You can watch all the Red Sox you want, honey.

Our 1st Wedding Anniversary 2010!

Our first wedding anniversary is today, and we have a few things we're excited about doing. First of all we are super excited to open the wine bottle we used as a guest book and read all the messages people wrote us at our wedding that we promised to save for today. We are substantially less excited about eating some year-old wedding cake, but we're going to do that too.

Mainly, we celebrated our anniversary last weekend because it was a long weekend. We went to Niagara Falls because I had wanted to go there for years. Niagara Falls are the most powerful falls in North America and the two waterfalls that make up Niagara, the American Falls and the Horseshoe Falls, are also incredibly beautiful. The Canadian side is much better than the American side. The view of the falls is better and all of the tourist attractions (though still very cheesy) are less cheesy. Surprisingly fun: taking the Maid of the Mist boat closer to the falls. Totally worth it must-do. You get soaked in the Watershoe Falls.

We had a romantic dinner, and my super sweet husband gave me a wonderful card and Tiffany hoop earrings.

In front of the American Falls (standing on the Canadian side)

The misty Horseshoe Falls with rainbow

On the Maid of the Mist! (In front of the Horseshoe Falls.)

We also checked out a beautiful neighboring town Niagara-on-the-Lake where the Niagara River meets Lake Ontario. It is located across the Niagara river from Youngstown, New York. We went primaily to eat at Oban Inn Restaurant which had excellent reviews. It did not disappoint. From there we walked over to Lake Ontario, and then drove to the main shopping area on Queens Street.

Lake Ontario with a view of Old Fort Niagara in the Youngstown, NY

Queens Street

George Bernard Shaw, they LOVE him here.

On the way back from Canada we stopped in Buffalo for, what else, Buffalo Wings, so named for their place of origin. We went to Gabriel's Gate, which some people say are the best wings in Buffalo. It was delicious. I am not a lover of spicy food, so we got the medium, but they were so delicious that next time I will be brave and try the hot.

Buffalo Wing happiness

Nom nom nom

On the way back we cruised around Scranton, PA, home of the fictional The Office characters and Donald's grandparents. It's a pretty cool little city.

Scranton, The Electric City!

We will have updates on the Message in a Bottle guestbook soon. I predict a lot of randomness worth blogging about.