The 20th week started with the sonogram that confirmed we were having a boy, setting my mom off on a baby boy shopping spree. So far she's gotten the baby 3 outfits and a pair of jeans. The boy news hasn't made a big change for me since I was already calling the baby "he" and was pretty convinced we were having a boy. Maybe I feel guilty about drinking coffee though, because I don't want to stunt his growth and make him short. Think tall thoughts baby. It is interesting to picture having a son and all that means.
The news that the baby was already almost a pound on Monday concerned me a bit. On the one hand, I'm glad that a full pound of my weight gain went to the baby and not to my butt. On the other hand I don't want the baby to be doomed to a life of pudginess because of my Ben and Jerry's addiction. The ice cream never shows up in my official cravings because I always want ice cream even when I'm not pregnant. It seems disingenuous to blame my ice cream habit on the baby. (Except in early August when I felt compelled to mix milk in to make it runny.)
The baby kicks every day several times a day, and I can also feel him doing other stuff- maybe turning or wiggling. When I take a shower he seems like he turns. Maybe he's trying to get away from the sound of the shower. Sometimes he kicks a little after I eat something new and exciting. This might be just be in my head because I read that food flavors the amniotic fluid and he can taste it. I can get him to kick for other people by lying down and shaking my belly a little but I try not to do that because what if he hates that? I would never know. The kicks still feel pretty minimal to other people, but they're definitely getting stronger. Last night I swear he was kicking along to the beat when I was watching Glee to Journey's Don't Stop Believing. I swear.
The acid reflux is getting pretty bad now and mainly strikes in the evening. Two gulps of milk or a full glass of water helps. I have to sleep with milk on my night table, three pillows to keep my head above my throat, and lying on my left side-- my right side doesn't work as well. Kevin puts a glass of water and a smaller cup milk by my bed before I go to sleep.
It's only been two weeks since I lost my dad. And it's definitely not getting any easier yet. He was so ridiculously healthy and strong-looking in July, even after his diagnosis. And he came home in October the best he'd been since July. Even in his last week, he was a handsome young-looking man. If I had to pick a stage of grief, I'd say I'm in deep denial. But obviously also really sad and really angry. I've only started to talk to people outside my family in the last couple of days. I worry about the stress of my sadness on the baby, not just in the last two weeks, but for the entire duration of the pregnancy, but I don't think there's much I can do about that.
Milestones: Half-way there! Baby boy is punching and kicking every day. I have to wear loose-fitting maternity tops now to be comfortable. I've been wearing maternity pants for a while already.
Craving: apple juice, red sausage (chorizo or pepperoni), milk
Anti-craving: Can't always finish my coffee
Symptoms: Bad acid reflux, my left knee hurts possibly from the extra weight or possibly from having to sleep on my left side.
Baby-size: Banana (my mom says plantain)
Weight gain: 13.5
No comments:
Post a Comment