James is 1 Week Old! 2011

Commemorating his one-week birthday with a candle in an eclair

Milestones: First time seeing the baby, holding the baby, first diaper change (we did it together and despite a clean diaper covering him- he peed on us), going home, first sponge-bath, first doctor's appointment

Weekly Wisdom: As I wrote on Facebook, one of the first things that babies teach you is that you don't know anything about anything. This is a good thing to learn.

Best moment/s: It's the first week so there were countless great moments and I'm not going to pick. Seeing the baby for the first time! Seeing Kevin with the baby. Looks like I made him a new best friend. Their mutual adoration society is the best ever. I was also so happy to snuggle with Kevin again. How did I make it all those months without it? Seeing how happy the baby makes the grandmothers. Skin to skin with the baby. Seeing the baby get cuter every day (or the attachment hormones reach a critical level).

Worst moment/s: Waiting 4 hours to see the baby after I had him. The first night at the hospital with the nurse from hell. Having trouble breathing the first night. Thursday when we sent the baby to get his circumcision and the look he gave us when he got back from the procedure. Friday at 5 am, when they brought back the baby from the nursery and told us he had lost a pound. Monday evening when I got a fever and chills from messing up my breastfeeding schedule. It felt really really bad.

Baby-size: 9 pounds 2 oz at his Monday appointment. (9 pounds 12 ounces at birth, 8 pounds 12 ounces at hospital discharge)

Weight: I gained a total of 42 pounds with the pregnancy. When I returned home and got on the scale I was horrified that I had only lost the weight of the baby and nothing else. But I was also as puffy as the Marshmallow Man from water retention so I kept that in mind. [Disclosure: things are already better now that I'm in week 2.] So 32 to go, but I'm not going to try to lose weight until the baby is 6 or 7 weeks.

I'm glad I married a man I love and respect because I made a mini-him

James's First Doctor's Visit 2011

James's first pediatrician visit on Monday was great. Dr. G saw us right away. His nurse weighed the him 9 pounds 1 ounce, so he gained 5 ounces in two days (but really in about a day and a half). The doctor wasn't too concerned about his original weight loss. He said he had never had a child die of starvation in his practice. Good to know!

Kevin and James in the waiting room

The doctor said I should start over with breastfeeding since it had been unsuccessful so far. He said to breastfeed for 5 minutes only and build up two minutes at a time to 15 minutes, and then give him formula every 1.5-3 hours. James should be drinking 1 ounce to 1.5 ounces of formula. Dr. G said not to wake up James to feed at night and to pray we got on the same schedule. James will make up for any missed feeding in the daytime. I liked hearing that!

James wore the H&M brown striped onesie and matching brown pants my mother gave us when she first learned we were pregnant. I brought a hat that I realized was too big for him once it fell down in the car and I fussed in the car about bringing him in without a hat. Kevin thought it was silly that I thought people in the waiting room would think I was a negligent parent because he didn't have a hat, or think that I was an incompetent one for having him wear a hat that was too big. I told him I was also worried about what the doctors thought. I tried to nonchalantly carry in the hat as though I had made a conscious decision that the baby was warm. He actually was warm enough, and it was a nice Spring day.

James and me in the examination room

He was good the entire time pretty much except that they got him naked to weigh him- no diaper even. We thought that was a dangerous move. He was fine, then the nurse left the room and said to put his diaper back on and that the doctor would be right in. That's when James decided to pee all over the examining table, his own face, and Kevin's work shirt for the day. Kevin and I started to rush around cleaning up the whole mess before the doctor came back in. Later Kevin said he was worried the doctor would come back in and judge us. I said, "Ah see, you're worried about being judged too." He said, "Yes, but I'm talking about urine dripping off the baby's head." Good point.

Diary of an Angry Pink Baby #1: First Doctor's Visit

Mom wanted James to look GOOD for his first pediatrician's appointment, so he wouldn't be discriminated on the basis of his skin color (pink). He was wearing fancy baby clothes, including pants, a fashion infant body suit, and a hat that was half the length of his body. Occasionally, he would place the hat in his mouth, where he would consider throwing up on it.

James was well-behaved, if vaguely surly, until we disrobed him completely, which he despises. (Is James a never nude???) He screamed for a while and shook his head in the manner of those machines that shake paint cans, which is normal for him. Then, as he started to cool down, he began to urinate. Here is a short list of the things my talented son was able to hit:

My work shirt
The (previously) disinfected examination table
His head

What followed was ninety seconds of a bad network sitcom, as one parent wiped pee off a screaming baby's head, while the other parent looked down the hallway to make sure the doctor wasn't coming. My feeling is this: if your baby has a little spit on his shirt, nobody cares. If your baby is crying, people expect as much. But if your baby has urine dripping down his head, you might be those parents.

Fortunately for all, we avoided that status for one week.

James refusing to take off his diaper?


Compare to Tobias on Arrested Development

James's First Easter in Floral Park 2011

What a great Easter! James was finally out in the world, and my family came over to enjoy his company. My mother was here for the whole weekend which was lovely, and my grandmother Daisy, brother David, and his long-time girlfriend Melanie came to meet the baby.

Happy Easter!

James and Nana

Uncle David, Great-Grandma Daisy, and Melanie

Kevin spent most of the morning running around looking for a store that was open on Easter that would accommodate the few things we had realized we were missing, but he was able to make it back by early afternoon and have lunch with us.

I'm still looking like I was hit by small truck, but such is baby-making.

Going Home with James 2011

We were not the type of parents that felt shell-shocked to take the baby home. We could not wait to leave the hospital. It took most of Saturday, and many calls to various doctors, nurses, and labs to get them to come discharge us. I was discharged by my doctor, then we had to wait for some of his lab tests to come back before the hospital would discharge James, and I had to fill out a bunch of forms. The hospital basically held us hostage for hours. But at last they let us go!

James's going home outfit

First car ride!

Being carried in by Kevin

Coming home video

My mother was waiting for us at our place on Saturday and she was very eager for us to arrive. And I was more than happy to watch her sponge bathe him that evening. She looked very happy doing it, and James seemed to enjoy it too.

First sponge bath at home!

Time in the Maternity Ward 2011

Our family on Friday evening

James was born via c-section at 12:23, and they split us up almost right away. I had to go to the Recovery Room for the c-section, and they took him to the nursery to test his sugars because he was so large. Numerous attempts to get him back from the nursery failed, and I was getting pretty unhappy as the hours ticked by. And unlike, everyone else, I couldn't visit him in nursery because I was connected to so many tubes. We finally got him back when it was almost 4 in the afternoon.

Reunited at last.

The first evening in the hospital was very bad, due mostly to the fact that the nurse assigned to us was both inattentive and casually rude. I'm pretty sure at one point she implied that I was a bad mother because I wouldn't let my child have formula because I was trying to breastfeed. Can anyone even be a bad mother before her child reaches the ripe age of 12 hours old? Perhaps. But I don't think I was.

Believe it or not she managed to top this when I realized I was having difficulty breathing and she first acted dubious, then administered more pain medicine (a depressant for someone having difficulty breathing?), and finally at our insistence called a resident. To be fair the residents weren't all that helpful either, but by the next day they had figured out my blood count was low because I had lost a lot of blood. But you know, it wasn't so far-fetched that a woman who had major abdominal surgery might have a complication a few hours later, and if that complication is BREATHING, that seems like something not to dally over, because most people like to do that a couple times a minute.

I was very relieved when the day nurse arrived. She was a take-charge type. She was also super-militant about breastfeeding. She was followed by James's pediatrician who told me to ignore the nurses. He said that all babies lose weight so I shouldn't let the nurses scare me (impossible when you're sleep-deprived, medicated, and a first-time mom). He also said it didn't matter if I used formula or not, or used a pacifier or not, but that life would be easier if I used a pacifier. The lactation consultant came in and told me different things than the nurses or the pediatrician. To say that we were confused would be putting it mildly. And I was angry that the hospital couldn't keep its story straight at an already stressful time.

I'm not even going to elaborate on the horrors of sharing a room with another family whose baby would only cry when ours was quiet and vice versa.

Luckily, we had visitors who relieved a great deal of the stress of being in the hospital. Kevin's mom came back Thursday morning, followed by Jon and Briggs in the afternoon with some Jameson and coffee for Kevin's new daddy life.  On Friday my friends Chrissy and her husband Jason visited with a bag full of bagels for us and baby gifts for James, and finally on Friday my mother returned to help out and let Kevin go back to the house for a little while. We also got flowers and many calls from Ash and Janice.

Jon and Briggs visit on Thursday afternoon

Chrissy and Jason visit on Friday morning

Introducing Baby James 2011!

James Riveron

was born on 

April 20, 2011, at 12:23 p.m.,

weighing 9 pounds and 12 ounces 

and measuring 21 inches long.

Our first family photo

James's first day

With Nana Ana

With Grammy Kathy

James was named for my wonderful father.

Baby James Born 2011!

The worst part of my c-section was the epidural. An epidural port is inserted to help with the pain both during the surgery and for two days after.  First they made me sit hunched over and a nurse held my shoulders so I  didn't fall off the table when I arched my back for the shot. But for some reason she applied an inordinate amount of pressure to my shoulders. Then they gave me a numbing injection, or three, which the anesthesiologist said "might burn" and definitely did. For a normal woman, the numbing shot is the worst part. No one has ever accused me of being a normal woman. The anesthesiologist asked that I tell him what I feel when he did the epidural. The needle itself I hardly felt, thanks to the numbing shots, but I felt shooting pain emanating from the site of the needle out to my right side.

"Really? On your right? Hmh. Let's try again."

The anesthesiologist assistant swapped with the nurse at my shoulders, followed by the resident. I begged her to take pressure off my shoulders in between the injections even though she was the lightest one by far.  My shoulders were bruised.

More numbing shots followed, and then more epidural shots. At one point, he took a break to insert the spinal.

"THAT FEELS LIKE ELECTRICITY SHOOTING THROUGH THE ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BODY."

"Oh, that's normal." So he did that twice. I grabbed the resident's scrub pants with my thumb and forefinger. I must have thought we were buddies.

Then he resumed poking me with the epidural.  The anesthesiologist mentioned that I might have to do the surgery without an epidural, just the spinal, and that I could take other pain medication after the surgery. Finally he called in another anesthesiologist who put the epidural right in where it was supposed to go.

An hour and fifteen minutes had passed. I wondered whether Kevin was close enough that he could hear me yelp when they shocked me over and over and whether he was scared about what was going on. He told me later that he could hear me but someone from the room would periodically update him.

Right after the doctor made the first incision, they let Kevin into the room. I didn't feel anything so I spent the time thinking about how silly Kevin looked in his scrub hat, and hoping the baby had a big healthy scream when he came out.  I heard him before I saw him.  He gave a medium-loud complaint cry.  When I saw him my first words were "He's awesome!"

My first view of James

Making footprints

Proving he has big healthy lungs

I was amazed by how large his feet were. Those huge feet had been kicking me for weeks! They asked us about his name, and we announced for the first time that his name was James. They wrapped him up in a tight receiving blanket burrito and gave him to Kevin. His mouth was covered by the blanket. I tried to uncover it while they finished my surgery so I could see what he looked like. I couldn't quite figure him out. They asked Kevin to wait with him in the hall while they finished my stitches and staples. Kevin told me that in the hall he had a private talk with James where he promised to always be a good father to him. (How crazy sweet is that?) The doctors finally put him in my arms for the first time when they wheeled me out of the operating room.

My first time holding him

They took him after a moment or two to examine him in the nursery for 4 hours! I was going crazy! They sent me to the recovery room for 2 hours, where Kevin and my mother joined me, and eventually Kevin's mother too. We called James's uncles and great-grandparents. Then I encouraged the mothers to go visit James in the nursery, which I knew they were eager to do. They reported back that James was the largest baby in the nursery and that he was complaining about how hungry he was with a light cry and sucking on his fists. We were all smitten.

Off to the Hospital 2011!

So, despite our many predictions, I never went into labor before the scheduled c-section, which was three days after my due date. Given the baby's size, that he never dropped (probably because he's jammed in my hip), and that I never showed any signs of labor happening ever, it wasn't a good idea to wait. It looks like I'd probably have an emergency c-section even if I went into labor, and it's more dangerous to have a c-section while contracting or after pushing. The c-section was coincidentally scheduled during Kevin's Spring Break from teaching so he would be able to go with me and stay at the hospital for the full recovery period without taking any time off (something that's near-impossible for a professor). Wednesday was the big day!

40 Weeks + 3 Days

This is us right before we went to the hospital. This is the sort of thing you can do when you're not actually in labor. I also took a shower and applied make-up. This is a definite plus in the c-section column. On the down-side I am hungry and even thirstier in this picture because I couldn't eat or drink after 11 p.m. on Tuesday.

Our c-section appointment was 12:00 p.m. but we had to be at the hospital for prep by 10 a.m. so we left with enough time to drive, possibly get stuck in traffic, and park at the hospital's always very full lot.

The hospital claimed to have free internet (I would have been willing to pay) and I figured that I might be able to post this sometime during the day since it was just one photo, and because I know a family friend Katie C. had blogged a lot from the hospital during labor, I figured I wasn't being crazy.  But the internet promise was a lie, there was no free internet or even expensive internet, there was just a wireless name that would reject me when I clicked on it. As you can guess, I found this very disappointing!

Kevin and I in prep

Anyway, this is Kevin and me in the prep room. It turned out I was already having contractions every five minutes. I couldn't feel the contractions so they weren't the right kind, but my body was definitely getting ready to eject the baby anyway. Or rather to fail at ejecting the baby, hence the c-section. (Interesting note: my paternal grandmother who is also 5 feet tall had an emergency c-section for her 10-pound baby in the 1950s.)

Baby Clou "On Notice" 2011

I was really hoping we wouldn't have any kind of parenting confrontation until you started crawling around and I had to admonish you not to touch dangerous things, and I hope this isn't a sign of what's to come, but at zero days old you are already undermining my authority.  Although, to be fair, this is probably my fault for not sticking to a consistent deadline.

Here's the deal though. On top of gaining too much weight (I just repacked your hospital bag with a bigger coming home outfit) and giving me all sorts of odd hormonal problems, you have spent the last two days kicking and punching me nonstop. This is both unexpected and unpleasant. It's unexpected because everyone including supposed medical professionals claimed that you would move around less towards the end of the pregnancy because you would run out of room. Looking back, this claim made no logical sense, because if Octomom and Kate Gosselin can stretch to fit small busloads of children in their belly, clearly I could stretch enough to let one determined baby dance the day and night away.

Anyway, this post is not about my parenting and logic failures, it is about the line being drawn. You have less than 48 hours before we evict you via c-section on Wednesday.  You have been put On Notice.