wants to go to bed. I italicize wants because one must differentiate what my wife believes she should do from what she wishes to do. It's my responsibility to recognize this dichotomy, make a unique nightly decision in her best interests, and enforce this decision in a way that respects her autonomy. When I fail to do this correctly, which happens six to seven times a week, it is her burden to complain.
1) Remove all light bulbs, so as to give the apartment more of a sleep-inducing feel
2) Replace collapsing, spring-less mattress with mattress that massages muscles, doesn't cause one to wake in excruciating pain
3) Rock and roll all night and party every day (hard)