Owen and Family 2014!

My friends Chrissy and Jason's 4 year old Owen IS CANCER-FREE! This is simply the best news ever. We were so excited when they came to New Jersey and had some time for us. So excited! The trip did not disappoint one bit. I practically cried with joy a hundred times.

Gwen's family + Regan's family + Chrissy's family + mine!

Seeing Owen and James play is such a sweet pleasure, and it was the first time I met Gwen's daughter Alana. It was Miranda's first trip to New Jersey and everyone's first time meeting her.

Chris brought the bubbles- brilliant!


Owen chasing bubbles! I love it!


Alana and Hailey


Even Miranda got a bubble!

With so many kids it was great to have so much room. The kids played in the front of the house, the backyard, and the basement. I have so many childhood memories of my own at Chrissy's house (even my Sweet 16 was here!) that it was so fun and strange to see our kids playing there. Especially, since my kids have never been to the places I lived as a child.

A weird kick ball game that involves two balls!

Two little birds laying eggs.

Pretty mamas and their littlest ones

I wish we all lived closer so we could do this all the time!

Indoor chaos is fun!

Great visit!

• The previous visit to Chrissy's family in October 2012.
• The previous visit to Regan's family in February 2014.

Meeting Hailey 2012

Chrissy and Jason, and their two kids Owen and Hailey live in Ohio, so when we heard they would be visiting New Jersey we jumped at the chance to go see them and their family. For one thing, I needed to meet my new little girlfriend Hailey.  She's 3 months old now, the same age as her brother Owen when I met him for the first time.

Meeting Hailey! What torture to have to wait so long! 

Our wonderful husbands and cute little boys played some street kick ball while the 3 ladies had girl- time.  When we were inside we also got to spend some time with Gwen, her little boy Matthew, Mr. Kaulfers. (I know that theoretically, "Walter" would be okay now, but unh-uh, I'm still 13 when I'm in the Kaulfers' house.)

Our boys playing

Auntie Gwen, Cousin Matthew, Grandpa Walter, James, Kevin

Owen and James have a 16-month age difference between them, which makes things a little touch-and-go right now, but they can rally around cartoons together. I caught this photo of them snuggling up to each other.

I love them!

I love group pictures. We took one with the Vonderhaars just last May, and now look! There's another little Vonderhaar to love! (Full disclosure: Absolutely none of these children wanted to take this picture. But look how cheerful the adults look!)

Hailey at 3 months, Owen at 2.75 years (33 months), James at 17 months

My High School Graduation 1997

Holy cow, anyone notice it's been 15 years since we graduated high school? Wasn't I just at my 10-year reunion two seconds ago? I grew up in New Jersey, something I tried to avoid admitting for some years after I left, but now I'm not entirely sure why. There's no particularly awesome state to be from except maybe Hawaii, and I bet those people get tired of lai jokes the same way we get tired of highway exit jokes. For the record, my exit was the Spring Street exit.

Here I am whizzing by on graduation day, June 20, 1997

With my parents before graduation

I've said this before, but our class president Chris Larson, gave an awesome speech. Especially considering he was only 18 at the time. I have the video somewhere, and I will eventually upload it on YouTube, but suffice to say he referenced Khrushchev, took off his shoe, and banged it on the podium. The parents appreciated it, but I don't think most of the students were far along enough in History class to appreciate it.  Here's a picture before the shoe part. Behind Chris is a man I don't know, Principal Rizzo, a megaphone-head, and Vice-Principal Dr. Melville.

Our class president giving an amazing speech

Hat-toss! We're out of here!

My parents, my dad's parents, and Yohana and Rick came to my graduation. My mom's parents had moved to Miami by then, so they couldn't be there, but I wish they had been.  Chrissy graduated my year, so her whole family was there too. I remember Chrissy's mom finding me in the crowd to congratulate me. Cate and Wendy were a year down in school, but they were in band so they had to play at our graduation.

With the Shute grandparents

With my best friends from highschool, Cate, Wendy, and Chrissy

We went to a good high school, and the students worked together with parents and the administration to keep us from drinking and doing other dubious things after graduation. They built us an elaborate post-graduation sleep-over party. The theme our year was New Orleans, and you can see from the photos that they did an amazing job. If anyone who built this is reading, thank you! I still appreciate your hard work and artistic talent 15 years later.

Our New Orleans theme party

Me, random clown on stilts, and my friend Dawn

Rocking their matching temporary tattoos.  This picture makes me want a tattoo!

Ten years later in 2007, we had our 10-year reunion. Kevin and I went just two days after he proposed, so I was in a ridiculously good mood for a high school reunion. 

Some of the awesome people I went to grade school with at our 10-year reunion!

29 Weeks, January 30, 2010

Baby stuff first. I've been trying to avoid anything that's not "natural" but this week I resorted to Tums for the acid reflux because the doctor was definite that it's safe and "not medicine." It worked great the first time, but it's already starting not to cut it. Despite milk, Tums, and three propped up pillows, I wake up choking sometimes. Blah.

Milestones: The baby's head continues to stick out of my belly usually on my right side, but sometimes on the left.  He shies away from people trying to feel him move or kick.  He's stayed high up all week.  Ever since other moms on Facebook started asking me if he's hiccuping yet, I've been on hiccup alert but I really can't tell. Sometimes I feel what could either be gentle kicks or hiccups but it's not for very long or very regular so there's nothing definitive about it.
What I miss the most: Sleeping every night. Every other night I can only nap for four hours before I'm up. On the off nights I sleep through the night because I'm too exhausted not to.
Craving: Lots of hydration. Pad see ew with beef. Poor Kevin brought home pad thai with chicken instead. Disaster.
Anti-craving: Chicken.
Symptoms: Lots of trouble sleeping, ACID REFLUX, achy left knee, Sleepiness that causes evening grumpiness
Baby-size: Butternut Squash
Weight gain: Took the week off from weighing myself, but I can see the belly getting bigger. It's so big it's scary but it's still dented where my waist is. Still.

The week started a little sad with mom's move from my hometown of Ramsey. I think the new town and apartment will be good for her though.

Our old apartment is the second door

Later in the week we got some living room furniture delivered which was exciting since I spend so much time in the living room these days. Pictures in the next post.

25 Weeks, January 2-8, 2011: Delaware Trip

Baby stuff first:

Milestones: There is a working theory that the baby can come when it's called now. This is of course, insanity, but you be the judge. Kevin first tried to get the baby to kick for him by calling him on New Years Day. He said something like, "Come here, son." Then about two days later, he tried again and it worked again. At this point I think Kevin decided to stop pushing his luck. Then Friday night, after my mother had spent a while trying to get the baby to kick for her, I said, "Trying calling him." As soon as I said it he kicked. We tried again Saturday morning and again it worked. So yeah, the baby is advanced.

What I miss the most: Lying on my stomach on top of Kevin. I can't even lie comfortable next to him on the couch because my belly kind of hangs off awkwardly. Hot.
Craving: I am milk.  Sometimes also crave ice  cream, or milk and cookies. Vinegar on food.
Anti-craving: Apple juice.
Symptoms: Stuffy nose, bad but short-lived acid reflux. I've had a lot of trouble sleeping this week. I sleep for about 3-4 hours, and something wakes me up and then I'm up for an hour or more before I can go back to sleep. There's no baby yet! How is this fair? Good news though, my left knee stopped hurting! Woo!
Baby-size: Eggplant
Weight gain: 20.5

The week began with me luxuriating in a hotel in Delaware while the boys made profitable sports bets at the casino, and promptly lost it all on craps. I earned my keep by taking this awesome photo:

The unbearable hotness of bears

If walking over 50 blocks in Manhattan was my stabymoon, then this was Kevin's bearmoon.

The rest of the week was fairly calm. Kevin started winter session classes on Tuesday , and I had dinner with Christina on Wednesday.

I finished out the week visiting my mother and packing up dad's books to take with me. Also, we had more snow in New Jersey... five inches on Friday! (On top of the only partially melted two feet of snow from last week.) Kevin and Jon came to pick me up and helped my mother get rid of a bunch of heavy stuff in her apartment. Thanks guys! You're the best.

Thanksgiving 2010

I was hoping for a different Thanksgiving this year and for many years to come than what will be. I was looking forward to taking full family pictures this year with a pregnant belly and next year with the baby. But I am still thankful for some things.

On my wedding day, I remembered how lucky I was that dad had made it through his kidney cancer in 1999. I felt lucky that he could walk me down the aisle and dance with me at the wedding. I am thankful Kevin and I went to my dad's favorite place in Upstate New York with my parents last summer after we got married. I am thankful that I spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my parents last year especially since I never suspected it was my last chance to spend the holidays with both of them.

I am thankful that my dad wasn't working for the six months before his diagnosis. Even though he was depressed about not being able to find another job, he was still able to spend that time with mom and their friends and enjoying the outdoors. During that time, my parents visited us in our Brooklyn apartment shortly after my birthday, and Kevin and I treated my parents to dinner for their 25th wedding anniversary.  Before dad began treatment we had a dinner at home that he was able to enjoy.  After he started treatment I remember being thankful even at the time for the opportunity to make him a sandwich. If you are lucky enough to have your parents or children you love, please do everything you can to make them happy while they are healthy -- whether it is big or small.

I am grateful that after his diagnosis, Kevin took me to every appointment dad had with a doctor or procedure he had done.  When I couldn't make it because of work, Kevin went without me.  Every weekend that we didn't have a close friend's wedding to attend we spent with my parents in New Jersey. He helped me with talking to doctors and calling insurance.  He did innumerable favors for my parents and continues to do so for my mother.  He is truly a son to both of my parents.  I might spend the rest of my life making it up to him for how wonderful he is.  We had no idea that my dad would only have 4 months but I am so glad that there is very little we would have done differently if we had known.

I am grateful that my mother was at my father's side every single day since his diagnosis.  There was rarely a day she didn't spend 10-12 hours or more at his side.  Knowing she was there and that he had her to take care of him was an amazing comfort to me.  Everything she did, she did just for him and no one else, but what an amazing gift she gave all of us who love my father.  She was smart and strong for both of them.  Anyone who has been through cancer or a loved one's illness knows that a great deal depends on the patient's support system.  Someone has to be there to ask a million questions and fight for their loved ones- whether it be with insurance companies, pharmacies, doctors, or errant nurses.  He had wonderful nurses and PCAs when he was on the oncology floor at Valley Hospital, but my mother still learned their jobs and tried to personally do everything for my dad herself.  I assure you there is no better nurse than my mother caring for someone she loves.  I am happy to have my mother in my life, and proud that she is so intelligent, strong, and loving.  I hope to live up to be the kind of woman that she is.

I am relieved that my mother and I never left my father alone during the last week of his life. Once the doctor told us that the tumors had grown on Sunday the 14th, my mother started staying overnight so that dad wouldn't be lonely or afraid or suffer any pain or discomfort that she could prevent. I stayed at least 10 hours a day.  One of dad's last meals was his favorite chocolate milkshake that I bought him and mom fed him.  I gave him his last glass of water.  We told him we loved him hundreds of times in four months in as many ways as we knew how.  I am so glad I  told him he was a wonderful father.  

I am grateful to the friends that visited and helped, especially my mother's friend Onel.  Thankful forever to my friends that came to visit to help me personally, and to the few that sent food. It's hard to tell people what they can do for you when your world is falling apart; what a blessing for friends that do whatever they can think of to help.

I am really grateful that Kevin and I will have someone else to love soon and that we will be parents.  Though I really wish people would stop saying that it somehow makes up for the loss of my dad.  It doesn't.  On the contrary, dad was at his best with children.  How sad that our child will never know such a wonderful grandfather, and that we can never have visits or holidays all together.

Thanksgivings past:

With my parents in Upstate NY in 1988

On the Cape in 2001

On the Cape in 2003

On the Cape in 2004

In New Jersey in 2007, the day after Kevin proposed

In New Jersey in 2008

On the Cape in 2009

Meeting Owen 2010

This weekend I ventured to Ramsey to spend a few hours with my old friend Chrissy and her new baby Owen. Move aside, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, you have been usurped by Owen. It was great catching up and baby-holding. He's pretty impressive. He already sort of bounces if you hold him and he absorbs everything like a little sponge.

Me and my buddy Owen!

 

With tired new mama Chrissy and the product of her hard work, Owen

My mother came by to see Chrissy and Owen and had a little wants-to-be-a-grandma meltdown. It was cute.

My mother practicing at being a grandma

Owen smiling!

First Married Christmas in NJ 2009

We had a nice first-married Christmas Eve with my parents in New Jersey. Dinner was Cuban-style Noche Buena with pork, delicious black beans and rice, and yucca (by special request). Dessert was flan and toron. Really fantastic.

 

Me and Kevin on Christmas Eve

My cute parents

We also had a bit of a photo shoot. My mother just about lost it when Kevin was photographing and he requested that we act "ferocious" instead of the old Tyra Banks stand-by "fierce."

We are ferocious!

Christmas day itself we stayed home and had Chinese food for dinner in tribute to what Kevin's family was eating on the Cape. This time, I graciously let Kevin eat his fortune cookie, despite his accusations on Things My Wife Complains About.

Chrissy and Jason's Wedding 2009

Chrissy and Jason got married! The wedding was in New Jersey where Chrissy and I grew up.

Married! Walking up the aisle after their wedding- so happy!

The morning of their wedding everyone in the wedding party got ready at Chrissy's childhood home. Allison took these beautiful pictures of them there.

Chrissy and her mom Maureen- pure happiness and love

Jason with his mother

Chrissy and her sister Gwen

Gwen and her son Matthew who's so big now!

They got married in Chrissy's childhood Lutheran church. Growing up, Chrissy and her family went almost every Sunday, and I even had the pleasure of going with them one day when I was in high school. The church was a welcoming community, and Chrissy's family's spiritual home.

Lutheran Church in Ramsey

The reception was just outside of our hometown. Chrissy and Jason met while getting their MBAs at the London Business School, and they lived in London for a few years after graduation so the tables were all named for locations in London. And the people at the tables themselves came from all around the country and the world. It was one big Euro-Jersey party.

Chrissy and Jason's married smooches

The ladies from our hometown at the wedding

Showing her new wedding band to her college friends

Cutting the cake

Our besties table